If "Home Alone" Was British, I Guarantee These 29 Things Would Happen

    “Keep the change, you dickhead.”

    Home Alone is one of the greatest Christmas films of all time and if it was British, it would probably look a little something like this…

    1. Emma Thompson and Colin Firth would’ve been cast as Kate and Peter McCallister.

    2. And Kevin would’ve been played by a young Thomas Brodie-Sangster.

    3. The McCallisters would still be heading to Paris to spend Christmas with their family but they would be flying with Ryanair, not American Airlines.

    4. The Wet Bandits, Harry and Marv, would probably be called Gary and Keith instead and they’d have very strong cockney accents.

    5. When Kevin asks his siblings for help packing his suitcase, they would take it in turns to insult him, calling him a knobhead, an idiot, gormless, and of course, “what the French call les incompétents”.

    6. After spotting Old Man Marley raking the leaves outside, Buzz would explain that there’s a rumour going around that he killed his entire family with his rake and hid their bodies in compost bins.

    7. Instead of pizza, they’d order fish and chips the night before travelling but Buzz would eat Kevin’s plain chips – the only portion without salt and vinegar.

    8. Buzz would also tease Kevin that he’d have to share a bed with Fuller who always wets the bed. Although Fuller wouldn’t be drinking Pepsi, he’d be chugging a bottle of Lucozade.

    9. Out of anger, Kevin would push Buzz against the kitchen counter and accidentally spill tea all over their passports and boarding passes.

    10. Uncle Frank would call Kevin a prick for causing a mess and his mum would tell him to stop winding everyone up before sending him to the attic alone.

    11. After an electrical fault, the McCallisters’ alarms wouldn’t go off in the morning and they’d wake up very late for their flight. They’d rush around the house in a panic before making their way to Heathrow Airport.

    12. The oldest cousin would mistakenly include the neighbour’s kid in the headcount before they all got into Addison Lee cabs and made their way to the airport.

    13. And thanks to a slight delay on their Ryanair flight (shock), they would make it just in time.

    14. After feeling like she left something behind, Kate would order a pint of beer on the flight to calm her nerves. She’d then go through all of the possible things she could’ve forgotten and would eventually realise that they left Kevin at home!

    15. Kevin would come to the conclusion that he made his family disappear and he’d celebrate by eating all the Waggon Wheels, Chocolate Digestives, and Jammy Dodgers in the house.

    16. He'd then go through Buzz’ dirty magazines, steal his pocket money, and raid his Lynx Africa collection.

    17. Instead of singing along to “White Christmas” while doing his classic post-shower routine, Kevin would sing along to the best Christmas song in existence – “The Fairytale of New York”.

    18. Kevin would then order his own large portion of chips without salt or vinegar from the local chippy, and scare the delivery guy with an intense scene from Angels with Filthy Souls.

    19. He’d drop a tenner out of the letterbox for him and play the most iconic line from the gangster movie – “keep the change, you dickhead”.

    20. After running into Old Man Marley at a convenience store and being scared shitless, Kevin would leave without paying for a toothbrush. He’d end up being chased by a police officer – but naturally it’d be raining and the officer would slip before he could stop him.

    21. In an attempt to scare off the thieves after they realised he was home alone, Kevin would orchestrate a fake holiday party, complete with a cardboard cutout of Wayne Rooney attached to a train set.

    22. After being told by the airport staff that they had no seats left on any flights going back to the UK, Peter would suggest getting the Eurostar back to London in a couple of days.

    23. Kate would refuse to wait that long and would instead try to bribe an elderly couple to give her their plane tickets in exchange for her watch, jewellery, and tickets to afternoon tea. But they’d unfortunately decline her offer.

    24. Luckily, the lead singer of an Oasis tribute band would offer to help her.

    25. He’d invite Kate to travel back from France to England in their tour bus as long as she didn’t mind them practising along the way.

    26. After running out of the essentials, Kevin would go to Tesco to do his grocery shopping and he’d use his mum’s Clubcard, because every little helps.

    27. And instead of mac and cheese, he would warm up bangers and mash before defending his house against the Wet Bandits.

    28. The robbers would eventually get hold of Kevin and threaten to torture him, but Old Man Marley would save the day by hitting them over the head with his rake and calling the police.

    29. Kate would arrive home on Christmas morning and apologise to Kevin for leaving him behind, and moments later the rest of the family would walk through the door after getting the Eurostar to London!