1. Otis the Corgi, Creating Smiles Everyday
Voted the Most Influential Corgi of 2012, Otis definitely deserves a week long marathon on Discovery for dancing and having a great time somewhere in the world. Imagine all his dog friends on their own version of “I Escaped Corgis (And Cried to Talk About It)!” America’s crime rate would probably drop dramatically if there was an Otis the Corgi week.
2. Lil Bub, The Perma-Kitten We All Love
It’s no secret we all love cats, especially Lil Bub! She has warmed her way into our hearts because of her “perma-kitten” features - she will always remain in a cute little kitten state for us to obsess over. Lil Bub even has a Lil Book arriving on bookshelves September 3rd! A week long marathon of Lil Bub means a week long of CAT LOVIN’.
3. Biddy, the World’s Best Traveled Hedgehog
Biddy is no normal hedgehog. Not only does he travel all over the place, but he even has his own Instagram with over 90,000 followers. His adventures would replace Spawn of Jaws with Spawn of Biddy’s and no doubt, Biddy would take us to all different kinds of area codes.
4. Darwin, the IKEA Monkey
Biddy isn’t the only animal that loves to travel - Darwin does too! We all remember that fateful day when Darwin won our hearts over by wearing the latest in style shearling coat. Though he’s currently living at Stony Brook Farm Sanctuary, with less contact with humans, The Discovery Channel can totally follow him around and revive “What Not to Wear” with Darwin - sounds great doesn’t it? If the Discovery Channel won’t have him, I’m sure the Style Network will.
5. Thelma & Louise, The Two-Headed Turtle to Rock Our World
Perfect names, perfect body, and in perfect health - Thelma and Louise are so ready for their Discovery Channel debut. Though they don’t own a car like their namesakes, they can travel and show us around the Friedrich Aquarium at the San Antonio Zoo (and maybe Brad Pitt can make a guest appearance!)
6. Tuna, the Chiweenie Who Melts Our Heart
Tuna, the wondrous Chiweenie smiles and lives a happy doggy life despite his overbite. He plays dress up a lot and just celebrated his third birthday! Discovery can plug in a variety of shows, like “America’s Next Top Chiweenie,” where Tuna pretends to actually want another top Chiweenie but then just crowns himself because he is simply the best.
7. Eddie, The Basketball Playing Otter
Ever try to slam dunk? Ever try to do it with arthritis? Eddie the Otter does it everyday, as a way to exercise his arthritic elbows. A week long marathon means Eddie can play basketball with a variety of stars, including Shaquille O’Neal, Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, LeBron James, Kevin Durant and of course, Michael Jordan. Discovery can even resurrect Space Jam and re-create it with Eddie as a star!
8. Hamlet, the Oatmeal Loving Pig
Nothing is better than seeing a pig overcoming his fear of stairs to achieve his goal of eating oatmeal. Hamlet can host a talk show, similar to The View for his week long Discovery marathon. Other minipigs can join him for a discussion of best recipes for oatmeal, their favorite bath time toys, and the ins and outs of what it means to be a minipig. Hamlet takes “to thine own swine be true” to a whole other level!
9. Boo, the Pomeranian We Love to Snuggle With
Of course, what would a week long marathon be without Boo the Pomeranian? With four books, a clothing line, and stuffed animals, Boo is ready to own Discovery. Wouldn’t our weeks be instantly better if we followed him and his friend, Buddy around? This would be a great chance for us humans to follow Boo on his book tour!
10. Grumpy Cat, The Best Cat Meme We Ever Wished For
Last but definitely not least, Grumpy Cat definitely deserves his own week on The Discovery Channel. What other animal needs more attention than Grumpy Cat? We all know Grumpy would love (hate) to do a segment with his fellow grumpy counterparts, Ron Swanson or Nick Miller. He can even treat us to secret details of his upcoming movie!
- A Trump official says the campaign has "three major voter suppression operations underway."
- RIP — Vine says it's discontinuing its mobile app, effectively ending the 6-second video service 💀