30. Jordan Harvey
Team: Vancouver Whitecaps
Why he’s hot: His boyish good looks
13. Michael Owen
Team: Retired due to injuries (previous teams: Liverpool, Newcastle United, Manchester United and England)
Why he’s hot: Besides his perfectly tanned skin, perfectly structured cheekbones, and a jaw that rivals superman…his smile is adorable.
8. Jesús Navas
Team: Manchester City
Why he’s hot: …and Jesus wept.
1. Cristiano Ronaldo
Team: Real Madrid
Why he’s hot: He has a face and a body that would make Donatello, Bernini, and Michelangelo weep. Did you really think anyone else would be #1? We are not worthy.