25 Unspoken Public Transport Rules As Laid Down By Australians

    "Even if you're a very important man, you shouldn't sit like you're visiting the gynaecologist."

    Ah, public transport. Whether it's the train, bus, tram or ferry, it somehow manages to bring out the absolute worst in people.

    Although some of us are lucky enough to have enjoyed a reprieve from the daily commute — as the world increasingly learns to live with COVID-19 — Australians have now been encouraged to return to the office. Unfortunately, this means breathing in the same air as hundreds of other disgruntled people trying to arrive and leave work on time.

    Which led to a discussion on Reddit, started by u/stefansalvawhore who asked fellow Australians for their "unspoken rules of public transport". So, according to Aussies, here's everything you need to follow to maintain proper PT etiquette:

    1. "Wait for people to finish exiting the train/tram/bus before you get on. Apparently, it's a very difficult rule to follow."


    "This is the same for entering/exiting an elevator. I've ended up just hip and shouldering fuckers on more than one occasion if they start trying to get on when there's clearly a bunch of people trying to exit."


    2. "If you've boarded [the train or bus], but are blocking the door, just step off briefly to let others out. Anyone waiting to board should then wait for that person to get back on before boarding themselves."


    3. "If you get on the bus and there's only one other person, don't sit right next to them."


    4. "One person per four seat 'booth' until all are occupied, then fill up fairly evenly. DON'T COME AND FUCKEN' SIT NEXT TO ME WHEN WE ARE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE FUCKEN' CARRIAGE!"


    5. "My two pet peeves: Phone conversations on speaker and listening to music or watching a show without headphones. I just got to listen to an episode of Married With Children on the Craigieburn line tonight!"


    "Don't talk so loudly so that the whole carriage can hear you. I promise you no one gives a shit about your conversation."


    6. "Don't smoke on the tram, don't piss on the tram, don't inject on the tram and don't pour your tinned tuna brine down the tram."


    7. "Don’t crowd in the door when you can stand in the aisle."


    8. "And don't crowd the aisle if there is a spare seat. No good it being available for someone else if they can't reach it past the crowd anyway. Sit down to GTF [get the fuck] out of the way."


    9. "Say thank you to the bus driver."


    10. "Put the backpack down. You don't realise, but it's hitting people."


    11. "If you’re sitting down in a four-seater booth with only one other person in it, sit diagonally from them to maximise legroom for both of you. If a third person enters the booth, shift across so that the fourth seat is accessible."


    12. "If you put your purse/bag/briefcase/shopping/your goddamn legs on a seat when people need to sit down, you're a dickhead."


    13. "Don't stare at people."


    14. "Stand to the left on the escalators — and don't drag your pram onto the escalators. It's dangerous and blocks the way."


    15. "If you're sitting down anywhere, even if it's not a priority seat or whatever and there's an elderly, disabled or pregnant person standing next to you, you should probably give them your seat (provided you’re not elderly, disabled or pregnant yourself, of course)."


    16. "Keep your feet off the seats [and] don't eat tuna/salmon."


    17. "Don't rest your hands on the hips of girls in school uniform as you walk past, who are just trying to go to school/home. Apparently, some adult men find this rule very confusing as I see it way more than I should."


    18. "Don't leave your crusty coffee mugs or garbage on the damn train."


    19. "Don't blast your shitty music."


    20. "Even if you're a very important man, you shouldn't sit like you're visiting the gynaecologist."


    21. "Don't cut your toenails on the tram."


    22. "Don't rub one up on a poor gal just trying to get to work on time."


    23. "Don’t fart loud enough for people to feel like they’re inhaling poo particles."


    24. "It should be obvious, but do not defecate on the bus."


    25. And lastly, "Wear a fucking mask."


    What other unspoken public transport rules should people be following? Let us know in the comments!