Let's Talk About How Pumpkin Is Actually The Worst Vegetable To Exist
Put them in the trash because it's where they belong.
Gather round and take a seat, friends (or foes if you angrily clicked on this because you disagree with me). It's time to talk about something that will either make you love or hate me.
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*Sweats.*
So, here it goes: I really, really, REALLY dislike pumpkin.
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Yes, you heard me. It's the loweliest of vegetables and I just cannot understand why the rest of the world froths so hard over it.
Now before you all go on a rampage, let's go through some facts that I prepared earlier.
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For starters, pumpkin is SWEET. It's unnaturally sweet — to my tastebuds anyway — and it makes it SO unappetising.
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But the worst part is when people go ahead and chuck it in dishes that are meant to be SAVOURY
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You heathens, why on earth would you mix something sweet with a savoury dish?
For example, imagine a delicious and refreshing salad...that is then tainted by the sickly sweet taste of pumpkin.
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Or what about a beautiful roast dinner with a side of gravy...only to be CONTAMINATED by those large, rotten pieces of pumpkin y'all serve with it.
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Add pumpkin soup to the list of things that should not exist either — it's just a big bowl of orange goop that's ranked on the bottom of my personal soup tier ranking.
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Oh, and coming from an Indian background means sampling pumpkin masalas and curries, which if I'm being honest (sorry Mum), is something I wish to never eat again.
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Next, let's talk about the texture. It's like this absurd combination of a mushy, baby food-like interior and a very chewy, skin-like exterior that somehow manages to leave an aftertaste in your mouth.
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Just look at how dull and gross and bland this looks?!? NO THANK YOU.
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To set the record straight, pumpkin spice is perfectly fine in my books. Because by that point, there's a shitload of cinnamon, spice and all things nice, to disguise the loathsome taste of that bulbous orange vegetable.
Anyway, in conclusion: Pumpkin is gross and you couldn't pay me to eat it.
Bravo