Gather round and take a seat, friends (or foes if you angrily clicked on this because you disagree with me). It's time to talk about something that will either make you love or hate me.
CBS
*Sweats.*
So, here it goes: I really, really, REALLY dislike pumpkin.
Getty Images
Yes, you heard me. It's the loweliest of vegetables and I just cannot understand why the rest of the world froths so hard over it.
Now before you all go on a rampage, let's go through some facts that I prepared earlier.
BuzzFeed / Cartoon Network
For starters, pumpkin is SWEET. It's unnaturally sweet — to my tastebuds anyway — and it makes it SO unappetising.
Getty Images
But the worst part is when people go ahead and chuck it in dishes that are meant to be SAVOURY
Netflix
You heathens, why on earth would you mix something sweet with a savoury dish?
For example, imagine a delicious and refreshing salad...that is then tainted by the sickly sweet taste of pumpkin.
Getty Images
Or what about a beautiful roast dinner with a side of gravy...only to be CONTAMINATED by those large, rotten pieces of pumpkin y'all serve with it.
Getty Images
Add pumpkin soup to the list of things that should not exist either — it's just a big bowl of orange goop that's ranked on the bottom of my personal soup tier ranking.
Getty Images
Oh, and coming from an Indian background means sampling pumpkin masalas and curries, which if I'm being honest (sorry Mum), is something I wish to never eat again.
Fox / BuzzFeed
Next, let's talk about the texture. It's like this absurd combination of a mushy, baby food-like interior and a very chewy, skin-like exterior that somehow manages to leave an aftertaste in your mouth.
Getty Images
Just look at how dull and gross and bland this looks?!? NO THANK YOU.
Getty Images
To set the record straight, pumpkin spice is perfectly fine in my books. Because by that point, there's a shitload of cinnamon, spice and all things nice, to disguise the loathsome taste of that bulbous orange vegetable.
Anyway, in conclusion: Pumpkin is gross and you couldn't pay me to eat it.
Bravo
