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    Updated on 14 Jul 2020. Posted on 10 Jul 2020

    29 Funny Tweets That I Wish I Had Come Up With First

    "I'm gonna be honest with y'all, I am NOT feeling fly like a G6."

    1.

    2.

    [inside washing machine] duvet cover: climb in my brothers every single piece of clothing: we shall build a new life in the big sock

    3.

    back in 2014, Happy by Pharrell spent 10 weeks at number one. could u imagine if he dropped that song now?? He would get 3 streams and a cease and desist letter from society

    4.

    my daily routine is very simple. i wake up and i suffer

    5.

    Look at this photo of a cat taken in panorama I just saw on Facebook

    6.

    “Flight at 10 pm” Mom at 7 am: https://t.co/19riW1DnEv

    7.

    british cooking shows: tell us about this wee tart youve made, the crust is just lovely american cooking shows: we’ve replaced your knives with philips head screwdrivers & released raccoons in the kitchen. the clock is set for 30 seconds, please bake us peace in the middle east

    8.

    wife: why r u putting garlic in ur pants me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening

    9.

    call me zack cuz idk what the effron with me

    10.

    When you type an entire rant and decide not to press send

    11.

    me: you have to work me: i don’t want to me: good point

    12.

    u telling me a cloud managed this service?

    13.

    I saw your text I'm just waiting until I have enough serotonin to reply

    14.

    Woman: I also enjoy the activity you mentioned Man: I will now force you to prove this to me with some trivia questions

    15.

    stop asking me how i've been i literally have no idea

    16.

    my wife witnessed a miracle today & yelled across the house with an urgency that had me sprinting. I thought something terrible had happened but when i came into the kitchen she said: Look...

    17.

    Taking inspiration from birds and every few minutes just letting out a big scream

    18.

    I've been laughing at this meme for maybe 6 months now.

    19.

    I might not be girlfriend material but I’m definitely

    20.

    If you loved the Scholastic book catalogue/book fair then you 100% have anxiety as an adult

    21.

    the cullens really prepped a whole italian meal just because her name is 'bella' seven fucking vampires and not a brain between them

    22.

    texting ppl “hey!” is always a trap... like hey to u too, you’ll get a response when u tell me what u want u coward

    23.

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    Going back to my room after yet another long day of being in the living room

    26.

    plants rlly b like ‘I do not vibe with this dirt’ and die

    27.

    28.

    Good morning, please enjoy the photos that finally broke me

    29.

    i’m gonna be honest with y’all i am NOT feeling fly like a g6

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