Ranking Cheap Australian University Meals From "Sad Student Memories" To "This Is Still My Shit"

Isha: Look, it's a cheap meal that will get the job done. But, at the same time, you could love yourself a little and buy some pasta and store-bought sauce that will end up tasting much better. 2/10

Hameda: Listen, I may be into this stuff on a buttered piece of bread, but on its own? I don't know, it just seems so sad to me. I've never eaten it and I don't plan on ever indulging in it, so I'm going to have to give this one a hard pass. 1/10

Ranking: 3/20

Isha: Ah yes, there were some uni days where a sad sandwich ended up being lunch. It was often chased by a glass of water and a sense of dread when you realised how much more of your assignment you had left to do. Interesting times. 1/10

Hameda: There is nothing on this Earth that I respect more than a great sandwich and honestly, I would opt for one over other food items again and again. HOWEVER, if we're just talking about a super dry, stale bread bun you bought from the bakery at the train station on the way home because they were the only place that's open? My mouth is drying up just thinking about it. 5/10

Ranking: 6/20

Isha: These Lean Cuisine-esque meals are always good in a pinch, but I didn't reach for them too much during my uni days. I can imagine they'd be super convenient though, even if the box never quite lived up to what you received! 5/10

Hameda: These meals kind of scare me, so I never actually had them. Sure, I might've eaten one by accident once or twice over the years, but they're not for me. Plus, you always ended up having to put salt in these?! Yeah, it's a no. 2/10

Ranking: 7/20

Isha: I'm slightly ashamed to say that I ate Cup A Soup and a piece of toast for lunch today. It's definitely fine, but I know I’ll be hungry in, like, an hour — which is not ideal when you're at uni and there are places that sell hot chips within walking distance. 5/10

Hameda: I will say this once and I will not say it again, these are NOT MEALS. To me, they're about as substantial as a cup of tea and I don't understand how people eat them for lunch (I'm looking at you, Isha). Just make two minute noodles instead, there's only like ONE more step. Love yourselves, instant soup drinkers! 3/10

Ranking: 8/20

Isha: What is this?????????? Is this a thing? Just eat some baked beans on toast, it's infinitely better, trust me. 2/10

Hameda: The first time I tried this was during an internship for uni and oh my god, I am so glad that I was introduced to it. I don't know why I find such joy in trivial meals — probably some kind of protest against the flavourful dishes of my Afghani parents — but things like this and even just plain butter on white toast? I'm almost 30 and I'd still eat it. 7/10

Ranking: 9/20

Isha: Coffee makes me feel ill and I don't reaaaallly drink energy drinks, so I'm gonna take a hard pass on this one. Also, to all of you who consider this a meal, it's NOT!!!!! 0/10

Hameda: I've been waiting for this one and I'm actually ashamed to say that I am 100% this person. A black coffee or Red Bull will do so much more for me than a piece of toast in the morning and as much as I know how terrible that is for me, I do not care. 10/10

Ranking: 10/20

Isha: As much as I like a good avo toast, idk, it just doesn't rank highly in the meals I absolutely loved and ate during my uni days. Maybe it's because avos have always been a little pricy, unless you cop them on sale. 6/10

Hameda: I don't know if I could afford avo toast when I was at uni. Unless, it was a toastie with avo spread on top from Subway. Don't get me wrong, I love a good avo toast, but for the purpose of this ranking I'm going to have to deduct points for pricing reasons. 5/10

Ranking: 11/20

Isha: Look, I was more of a tuna melt sort of girl during my university days. The thought of eating tuna out of a can as a meal is a concept that seems a little bit sad. But, I'm sure it did the job and gave you the brain power you needed to procrastinate over that essay that was due. 3.5/10

Hameda: I can't count the number of times I was running late for the train and knew I didn't have enough money for lunch, so I grabbed a can of tuna from the cupboard and rushed out the door. And despite Isha's scathing judgement, I will unashamedly admit that I was definitely the kid with the fork and the open can of tuna in between classes. That chilli oil tuna from Aldi? I'm salivating just thinking about it. 8/10

Ranking: 11.5/20

Isha: Eggs are great! They're versatile, you can pair them up with a bunch of things, they're super cheap. Extremely solid and nothing much to hate on. 6/10

Hameda: Listen, I love eggs (a lot) — and they're great to eat in all different forms. But bringing a boiled egg to uni? Well, you'd better eat that thing outside unless you want to stink up the whole place and shun yourself from communal eating spots forever. 6/10

Ranking: 12/20

Isha: I'm actually partial to frozen pizzas. Like, they're nothing to rave on about, but they do SO bloody well if you give them long enough to cook so they actually get crispy (otherwise it's got a sog bottom and that's sad and not very tasty). 7/10

Hameda: I still eat these things all the time — and often they're even more delicious than some takeaway pizza shops. But, I can't forgive the way they burn the roof of my mouth if I become impatient and don't let them cool down. 6.5/10

Ranking: 13.5/20

Isha: I'm a big, big fan of toasties and would often take them to uni. My go-to was a capsicum, onion, mushroom, salami and cheese mix, which I still make on the regular. The only downside is that they would get a bit moist and soggy if I saved them to eat on the train, but eh — they still tasted good and that's all that mattered. 7/10

Hameda: Who in their right mind doesn't love a toastie? I mean they're warm, cronchy and depending on what you get on the inside, absolutely delicious. Isha's version is super fancy, but I can't go past a cheese toastie — or if I was feeling fancy myself, I'd slap a bit of Vegemite on there for good measure. 7/10

Ranking: 14/20

Isha: Fuck me, I know this is about as unhealthy as you can get for a meal, but damn — it really hit the spot. Especially when you had just come home from uni, were ravenous and there was nothing else. Alternatively, eating nugs from Macca's on the train home was ultra satisfying, too. 7/10

Hameda: Chicken nuggies have always been and will always be such a superior food group. I mean, kids love them, adults love them, I'm sure old people love them. What's not to love? Plus, with the right sauces, it's basically a gourmet meal. 8/10

Ranking: 15/20

Isha: Coming from an Asian household, Mi Goreng was a huge part of my upbringing, especially during university. Just got home and you're hungry? Eat some Mi Goreng. Staying up all night to finish a group project because the other people just disappeared on you? Eat some Mi Goreng. Stressed because everything is due at the same time? EAT SOME BLOODY MI GORENG. 9/10

Hameda: Ahhh, the cupboard staple for any student who has at least $3 in their bank account. I know these are absolutely iconic for Aussies, but I have to say I wasn't a huge fan of these noodles in particular (I'm more of a ramen soup kind of binch). Is that enough of a reason to take off points? Yes, yes it is. 6.5/10

Ranking: 15.5/20

Isha: I feel like every Australian uni student has a go-to place for Thai that has some extraordinarily cheap lunch deal. For me, it was The Small Lemongrass and it was perfectly positioned near Central Station in Sydney, meaning I passed it both on the way to and coming home from uni. I miss it and their Thai food very much. 8/10

Hameda: I forgot that this was a thing until I was writing this post and now am stunned and excited by the fact that every uni had a Thai place around the corner that had incredible lunch specials. Something about that brings a tear to my eye. 8/10

Ranking: 16/20

Isha: I will stand by baked beans on toast until the day I die. It's so good and comforting and filling, although I will say I usually put mine under the grill so the cheese melts and I add some spices to the beans for ~flavour~. 7.5/10

Hameda: Oh to be a bean, floating in some sweet and savoury sauce in a can, only to be laid out on a warm, toasty bread bed, then shovelled into my mouth. Delicious, filling and probably worse for your health than you think. 8/10

Ranking: 16.5/20

Isha: I brought my food from home a lot during uni, but sometimes I planned treat days which involved getting something like a kebab for lunch. And it was hella exciting, you know? Like, finishing class, ordering it and taking that first bite of meat, sauce and bread? Ugh, I'm salivating. It was SO good, even though you felt like you needed to take a nap immediately after. 10/10

Hameda: Any real kebab fanatic will know that there are good kebabs and there are kebabs that you instantly regret taking a bite out of. Any drunk person will know that either taste like heaven when you're stumbling home after a night out because you spent all your taxi money on a kebab. Are they a good meal to have at lunch time? Absolutely not. Will you have one anyway? Probably. 7/10

Ranking: 17/20

Isha: I don't know about you guys, but this was MY SHIT when I was at uni. It was cheap, delicious and portable — so even if you had to run to catch your train home (and I did because I lived an hour away), the chips and popcorn chicken would still be in perfect condition. I would still eat this now, tbh. 9/10

Hameda: I'm gonna be honest, I don't remember eating these at all during uni and it might've been because they hadn't actually been introduced yet. But, as a graduate at my first job, I definitely smashed a few of these when I was waiting for those government payments to come through. Delicious, cheap and a great variety, so you could always snatch up your favourite type of chicken. 8.5/10

Ranking: 17.5/20

Isha: Hooooooooolllyyy shit, I love Breadtop. Seriously, I would walk from UTS to the store located near Central during breaks, get my fave buns and be VERY content with my lunch. They were also so cheap, meaning that you could grab enough to make you feel satisfied. 8.5/10

Hameda: Oh my god, getting Breadtop was a TREAT and still is. I'm certain that literally everything they sell is delicious and using the little tray and tongs to pick out whatever you want is so much fun. Give me Breadtop over any fast food chain ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. 9/10

Ranking: 17.5/20 (equal score to KFC's Go Bucket, but we agreed that Breadtop just edged it out)

Isha: I was — and still am — a pasta fiend. It's one of the things I got really good at making as a teen, plus it keeps for days and you can chuck a boatload of veggies in to up that health factor. So, you can bet that I was one of those kids who heated their pasta up in the communal microwave at uni and ate it with GUSTO. 9/10

Hameda: Not only is spaghetti tasty and cheap, but it's so substantial. I mean, if you made pasta for dinner, there was no way you wouldn't have leftovers to eat the next day, which just makes it even more cost effective. An all-round, all star, if I may say so myself. 9/10

Ranking: 18/20

Isha: Sushi purchased from Sushi Hub — what could be more iconic for Aussie uni students? It was extremely affordable and made me fool myself into believing I had opted for the ~healthier choice~, when really that teriyaki chicken and white rice combo was anything but. Still, it was delicious and easy enough to chomp down on during a lecture. 8.5/10

Hameda: THIS!! THIS WAS MY ULTIMATE UNI MEAL! I mean, it's so easy to find sushi shops scattered around campuses that it's hard not to make these guys a staple. Plus, they're so easy to eat when you're rushing to class, so why get anything else? 10/10

Ranking: 18.5/20

Isha: Burritos from Guzman are always good, but they're even better when you're at uni and find out they're doing a free burrito day, which means lunch ends up being free and not the sad sandwich you packed. 9/10

Hameda: You kids are living large if you had access to a Guzman during uni. I mean, If I had a Guzman within walking distance, there's no way I'd be eating anything else. In fact, Guzman y Gomez recently opened a drive-thru restaurant on the way to my parents' house and I can honestly say I was brought to tears when I found out. Iconic. Delicious. Basically a warm tortilla hug like no other. 10/10

Ranking: 19/20

Isha: If I didn't get a kebab on my treat day, it was a halal snack pack — and boy, oh boy, did UniBros make them GOOD. Like, so good that I almost — emphasis on the almost — want to go back to UTS, just so I can buy one. HSPs belong in the top tier of uni meals, enough said. 10/10

Hameda: Boy, oh boy, the HSP. Possibly the most iconic item on this list. I mean, I remember people getting this when I was a senior in high school and we were allowed to go to the shops (what a time, am I right?). You could share one of these with your mates or smash one all by yourself and probably regret it later —but oh man was it delicious while you were eating it. 10/10

Ranking: 20/20