1. Whenever something—anything—bad happens:
2. When you ask her if she’s seen that thing you were looking for:
3. When you still can’t find it so you ask her for help, but instead she gives you a riddle:
4. And when you realize you’ve been holding that thing all along:
5. So she goes on with the sermon you never really signed up for:
6. When you and your siblings get into a fight and you think she’d stop you, but instead:
7. When she’s asking for an explanation but you can’t talk because 1. she’s too scary, and 2. di ka makasingit sa kanya:
8. And then when you finally speak up:
9. And then she goes on with the hypothetical questions:
10. You don’t know if she’s daring you or not:
11. When you ask her for money for a “school project.”
12. And then she goes on reminiscing the old times:
13. When she’s so mad she becomes philosophical:
14. A little too philosophical sometimes:
15. And then she starts with the metaphors:
16. When she states the obvious:
17. When she gives you a reality check:
18. When she can’t let you live:
NAG-AANO LANG AKO DITO PAEPAL.
19. And finally, you know you’re really fucked when she does what every child fears:
LUH. Magtago ka na sa saya ng nanay mo. Or maybe don’t.
We love you pa rin po!
- Hillary Clinton returned to the public arena in one of her first political appearances since the election, urging Democrats to "keep fighting."
- President Trump addressed the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC, where he lashed out at the media and defended his agenda.
- The White House strongly denies reports that Chief of Staff Reince Priebus urged the FBI to undermine stories linking Trump to Russia.
- Kim Jong Nam, the half-brother of North Korea's leader, was killed with a chemical weapon last week at an airport in Malaysia.