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Literally Just 28 Very Hilarious Tweets By Filipinos

It's been a long week. You deserve this.

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1. This pairing that slays all your faves.

"Left hand is steering the other is gripping your thigh"

2. This one you're waiting to be included on the next Waze update.

Ruffa Mae Quinto as a waze voice: "Wooohooo! In 300 meters wooo todo na 'to!!!! Hooo yesss turn right!!!"

GO GO GO!!!!!

3. And this one only true The Voice Philippines fans will get.

4. This one that cannot be unheard.


5. And this one you cannot unsee.

Before graduating, my little brother went out of his way to show me this hidden UST gem.

6. This accurate synopsis of a h̶o̶r̶r̶o̶r̶ movie.

Sadako vs Kayako is not horror. It's a coming-of-age story about a kid who struggles with life. Sad Ako pero Kaya Ko

7. This one that's more relatable than you're willing to admit.

how big he says it is vs. actual size


9. This genius life hack.

me: magkano po ang kilo ng tilapia? tindera: 120 po me: may ritemed ba nito? ritemed, huwag mahiyang magtanong

10. This obvious joke that's too obvious you wonder why you didn't think of it first.

: Kapag ako nabagok ang ulo, hu u kayo sa akin.

11. This one that'll put all your stoned conversations to shame.

At FamilyMart: *buys KitKat* ate: "initin pa po natin?" me: "sige po" SINO KAYANG MAS SABOG SA 'MIN

12. And this one that'll send mathematicians back to where they belong.

Ate KFC: Sir ano po yung chicken niyo? Yung 99 po o yung 95? Me: Ano pong difference nila? Ate: Sir, 4 po. Hinahamon ako ni ate sa Math.


13. This one that deserves a medal in linguistics.

French person: Bonsoir? Me: Ay, hindi po, panganay po ako.

14. This important observation on Philippine politics.

"Duterte's cabinet to be patterned after Trudeau's"

15. This transcript of a conversation that may or may not have happened.

Duterte: Okay paano natin sosolusyonan ang traffic in 6 months? MMDA: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ D: MY GOD I hate shrugs

16. This sex tip that's the mother of all sex tips.

cosmo sex tip: yell gg na sir when you're about to cum


17. And this one you cannot wait to try on your next Jollibee run.

Jollibee Delivery: "change for ano po?" me: "for the better"

18. And this one you're tempted to try on your next job interview.

*job interview hr: "tell me about a time u made a mistake" me: "uhm siguro po nung minahal ko siya" hr: "omg" me: hr: [hugs me] "u're hired"

19. This glorious mistake that's so wrong, it's right.

otw to school.... Uber driver: Sir, straight po ba? me: Gay po, kuya Uber: me: Uber: me: Ay, yes kuya straight lang po tapos right. ANUNA

20. This Stranger Things reference that'll surprise you.


21. This one that made me laugh for no reason.

me: aalis na ba jeepney driver: maya-maya me: wait lang bibili lang po ako sa mcdo driver: bili mo ko fries me: driver: bongbong marcos: ME:


22. This one that's basically our life with our parents.

me: *nasagasaan* parents: "ayan ayan kakakompyuter mo"

23. This glorious commentary on the most annoying thing about consumerism.

"sir wala po bang smaller bill" me:

24. This joke that's too dark but also too good to pass up.

[Dark Joke TRIGGER WARNING] *leaves suicide note* *parents start reading* "ang daming grammatical error wala ka na talagang ginawang tama"


25. This one for our brothers and sisters who consider leche flan sacred.

When you're in the senate but dessert is life #SONA2016

26. This one that deserves a medal for hilarious captions.

Tangina that expiration date. Pwede pa kainin ng apo ko.

27. This one that speaks to your soul.

when people think you're happy and full on the outside but you're just really empty and hollow inside

28. And this one that perfectly illustrates our relationship with Twitter.

Me: Edit feature pls Twitter: *changes star to heart* Me: edit feature pls Twitter: *u can retweet ur tweet* Me: