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44 Things Every Emo Kid Thinks During The Holidays

Will any gift ever fill the hole in my heart?

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1. I'm so sad.

2. All of these presents remind me of my ex, Ashley.

3. I asked for fingerless gloves, Mom.

4. God, just give me money so I can go to Hot Topic.

5. I wish this present were a new Taking Back Sunday album.

6. I bet Jesus was emo.

7. I wonder if Dad will let me keep a nose ring if I can talk Grandma into getting it for me.

8. I wish Grandpa would stop giving me shit about my eyeliner.

9. My family is so corporate.

10. I would totally wear a Santa hat if it was made of black felt.

11. Will any gift ever fill the hole in my heart?

12. Will any gift ever fill the hole in my heart...left by Ashley?

13. I wonder if Jimmy Eat World celebrates Christmas or Hanukkah.

14. I wrapped all my presents with black wrapping paper and they look sick.

15. I hope I get that Invader Zim hoodie I asked for.

16. It's a Wonderful Life. Yeah, right.

17. I said I wanted the pants with A WALLET CHAIN.

18. I swear to god if I have to take my snake bites out for Christmas dinner.

19. I hope my aunt gets me the new gauges I asked for.

20. Why are there no good emo Christmas carols?

21. All Ashley gave me for Christmas is this broken heart.

22. My bangs are blocking my view of the Christmas tree.

23. No one likes my homemade gifts. I'm not appreciated.

24. I wish I was on Myspace.

25. Goddamnit, Dad, I wanted a studded belt. STUDDED!

26. Why can't we just exchange used cassettes?

27. I wonder what presents Gerard from My Chemical Romance asks for for Christmas? What do you get the man who has everything?

28. I just want a sincere hug for once.

29. I just want a sincere kiss for once.

30. A sincere kiss from Ashley. God I miss her.

31. Love, Actually is a movie of lies.

32. I'd go caroling if we could sing Saves the Day.

33. I wonder what joy feels like.

34. I said I wanted this in black, Mom!

35. While everyone else sings "Silent Night" I'm going to sing the words to "Cute Without the E."

36. Why aren't we watching The Nightmare Before Christmas?

37. How hard is it to remember black nail polish. BLACK.

38. I know how Rudolph felt. Ostracized for being different.

39. I wonder if Ashley will like the presents I put in her mailbox over the past few weeks.

40. I don't understand why mom got so bent out of shape about my noose Christmas ornament.

41. I love A Charlie Brown Christmas. CB is so emo.

42. I wonder what Santa would look like with eyeliner.

43. "He sees you when you're sleeping / He knows when you're awake / He knows if you've been bad or good" ... That's not Santa, Ashley. That's me.

44. The only Christmas miracle I'm hoping for is that this is the year my parents realize this isn't just a phase.

I miss you, Ashley. Please call!

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