The 19 Stages Of Going To The Movies

TGIF.

1. A new movie is coming out!

Lucasfilm

Trailer on REPEAT until you get to see it.

2. You invite your friends immediately because you KNOW everyone is seeing this movie this weekend.

Disney

And you’re not trying to sit in the front row.

3. No one can see it on the day or at the time you picked.

I GUESS WE CAN SEE IT AT NOON ON SUNDAY LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE.

4. The friend who can’t make it invariably finds time to still see it that weekend with someone else.

VH1

I see you, bitch.

5. You buy the tickets in advance to avoid lines.

But of course, the theater doesn’t use Fandango so you can’t even use your free pass that’s been sitting in your wallet for a year.

6. There’s still a long line at the online ticket kiosk.

WELL, THIS WORKED OUT.

7. You get in an even longer line for the concessions, which cost more than your ticket.

Hope you weren’t planning on seeing previews!

8. Your friends will not actually pay you back for the concessions they told you to get them.

Time Warner

Bring this up when it’s time to pay the bill at dinner.

9. You’ll finish your snack before the movie even starts.

$4 for six Junior Mints in a box.

10. Someone will laugh during a horrible trailer and you’ll feel sorry for all of humanity.

Now you know who’ll be first in line for Dumb and Dumber Tree.

11. You glare at the people still on their phones as the previews end.

MTV

Turn down the fucking UFO light on your phone, please.

12. During the movie, there will be someone who can’t hear and has to have someone narrate events for them.

Maybe you should just read a book.

13. Someone comes in late and walks in front of you.

VH1

Down in front, bitch!

14. Even if you like kids, you WILL wish there were adults only screenings of kids movies.

NBC

I JUST WANT TO CRY WHILE WATCHING “THE LEGO MOVIE” WITH SOME LIKE-MINDED ADULTS, OKAY?

15. You will be reminded how single you are during romantic comedies. Or horror movies.

NBC

Or documentaries.

16. You’ll hold in your pee from drinking a large soda, because the movie is almost over and you don’t wanna miss anything.

If it’s a Chris Nolan film, just go, you have six hours left.

17. Someone will try and make jokes at the screen during the movie.

Don’t you have a copy of Save the Cat to highlight in film class, buddy?

18. While you’re enjoying the ending, someone explains it loudly to their idiot friend who doesn’t get it.

WERE YOU ASLEEP DURING THE ENTIRE MOVIE?

19. Five seconds after the credits roll, a friend will turn to you and immediately ask, “WHAT DID YOU THINK?”

DAMN, CAN I LIVE?

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