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    Posted on Jan 30, 2015

    Kim Kardashian Is In Desperate Need Of An Intervention

    We are NOT feeling her look and she CANNOT live.

    Everyone currently conscious knows intergalactic icon Kim Kardashian, yes?

    OK good.

    Because she needs our help.

    She, who beautifully taught our troops how to take selfie...

    Our Lady of Taking the Flawless Bathroom Selfie...

    Our Lady of Might I Feeleth Mine Look...

    Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!

    Kim Kardashian West@KimKardashianFollow

    Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!

    2:23 PM - 15 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

    Is. Friends. With. Sam. Smith.

    Sam Smith... Our Sire of Gay Respectability...

    Sam Smith talks Grindr: "I miss the mystery of dating" http://t.co/VLMsV1SJvu

    Attitude@AttitudeMagFollow

    Sam Smith talks Grindr: "I miss the mystery of dating" http://t.co/VLMsV1SJvu

    7:42 AM - 29 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    Our Sire of I Misseth the Mystery in Dating Except When I Want to Talketh About Myself...

    Sam Smith has been talking about his breakup longer than the actual relationship lasted.

    John Anthony@chocobohomoFollow

    Sam Smith has been talking about his breakup longer than the actual relationship lasted.

    7:51 AM - 29 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    Sire of Can You Let Beyoncé Sing Her Own Songs?

    One photo with him was enough. But then she went to his concert.

    And she shared a drink of potion from his cauldron.

    And left her family in his care.

    And where is she now? In public restrooms. Taking selfies. PROBABLY IN A GODDAMN MCDONALD'S.

    I know what you're thinking. She's feeling his music. Can she live?!

    Ira Madison III for BuzzFeed / Via E!

    Yes, but only in the wilds of the tundra like a Kardashian is meant to.

    Come back to us, Kim. Sam Smith does not make music for which one can twerketh to.

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