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The 5 Types Of Men To Spend Halloween With (a Feminist Perspective)

With Hallows' Eve just around the corner, and the need to get some planning done pressing on my skull (didn't think ahead, never do) I started replaying Halloweens past in my head, looking for inspiration. What I realized from the power walk down memory lane is, whatever I ended up doing one Halloween or another, it was the child-like joy of spending it with the right people that always put the festivities squarely in the success column. Halloween with the wrong people however - that will suck the joy right out of this celebration, and that's how this list started hatching in my brain.

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The Man-Child

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Strictly come Halloween, the Man-Child is probably THE most fun to be around. If you're into fancy dress and geeking out for a night in a weeks-in-advance-preordered-custom-made Supergirl outfit, he'll be just as psyched to don Superman's threads. The best thing about getting your freak on with someone who shares your belief that Halloween is the everyman's Comic Con? You can let your inner geek flag fly, as there's zero chance of looking the fool no matter where you end up going together (strength in numbers). Just don't be surprised when he shows his true nature and leaves you hanging at the bar to chase after Wonder Woman.

The... Life of the Party

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A night when the veil between the worlds goes haywire and the undead puppies and kittens come crawling is also the BEST night for a kick-ass party. And you can bet the guy who spends his every weekend painting the town red will know the best places to go rock on for Halloween, or any other holiday for that matter - he's not picky or exceedingly taken with Halloween - count on him for the weirdest underground venues and a 1/1 bizarre/fun ratio. Of course, the main issue with being with such a social butterfly is you'll never have his undivided attention - it's in the name, so don't be miffed when you find yourself alone midway through the night.

The Horror Buff

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For my part, and movie lovers like myself will no doubt relate, spending Halloween with my eyes glued to a night-long horror marathon is the scenario I'll default to every single time, given the option. But then, you can do that any time, right? I generally try to curb my antisocial tendencies on holidays, so I've shared a couch and a bag of popcorn with the odd Horror Buff on many a Halloween past. The key to a great marathon is knowing each other's limits (no gross fare, thanks). If he goes poof in the morning, all the better.

The Prankster

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That's the guy that keeps you on your toes, he'll always surprise you and, though almost all of his ideas will be in the zip code of half-baked, you'll take the harebrained with the good, the trick with the treat, on Halloween night. Why? The holiday's all about packing as much hijinks into one night of utter revelry and you know The Prankster's the guy who can keep you jacked up on crazy fun for as long as you let him. In my experience, you'll want to keep him on a short leash though, unless you enjoy the idea of having a House of Horrors-themed home and a gremlin for a roomie.

The Pumpkin King

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And then, there are the Halloweens when all you want to do is chill and snuggle up to a nice pumpkin soup, with friends and family. To me, the 'Pumpkin King' moniker is reserved to the guy who's - if you'll forgive the pun - pumped for kin. He'll enjoy a night in with kith and kin and he won't need to be asked twice to carve the pumpkin or get crafty with the décor. Your guests will have him to thank for taking charge of all the cooking and baking too. (I for one can't be bothered with that ever.) Of course, the spell of the homebody-curated Halloween can't last past the 31st - unless you like that sort of thing - so I'd ask for the keys back asap if I were you.

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