1. Your showers get cut short because someone burned their popcorn
Seriously, probably about 99% of the fire alarms are because someone left their popcorn in the microwave for too long. It's not hard to make popcorn. Stop the microwave when the popping stops, not when the smoke starts pouring out.
2. You're too lazy to make the trek to the bathrooms
Because peeing in your room sounds better than the 30 second walk to the toilets.
3. The variety of, ahem, activities everywhere
Nothing quite like watching a couple exchange saliva to prepare to exchange saliva with your pizza
4. Washers and dryers that may or may not work
Makes you long for the days when mommy and daddy did your laundry.
5. Inspirational quotes inscribed by your fellow residents
Oh sorry, I didn't realize I was in a junior high bathroom.
6. Free additions to your wardrobe
This pushes the stereotype that college kids won't turn down anything if it's free.
7. But actually, learn how to make popcorn
If you've ever lived in a dorm, the smell of burnt popcorn will always haunt your dreams.
8. You construction of the next Mount Everest with your excess of garbage
Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Or maybe the next day...or maybe never.
9. Makeshift furniture
No pong table? No problem.
10. Your limited kitchen supplies
When I moved out of my freshman year dorm, my roommates and I left an abundance of silverware that we stole from the dining hall because we were too broke and lazy to buy our own cutlery.
11. Drunk friends in the middle of the night
Another story from my freshman year: in the middle of the night, two boys on the floor stumbled into our room with a pole they stole from the construction site next to our dorm. They managed to wedge it up in the middle of our room so that we could "practice pole dancing for them."
12. Getting serenaded by your floormates
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but you need to stop singing, so please don't fight it.
13. General questionable hygiene
Sometimes it's just better not to ask.
14. Seriously, do people not know about personal hygiene?!
My sophomore year, the room of four girls next door not only didn't flush the toilets, but would also walk out without washing their hands, even if there were other girls in the bathroom watching.
15. You get new floormates that happen to be insects
Reminiscent of when Harry and Ron find the trail of spiders at Hogwarts.
16. Fires that are more than just burnt popcorn
What's that smell? Probably just more burnt popcorn...OH WAIT!
17. And speaking of burnt popcorn...
So you can get into college but you can't follow instructions on a box?
18. Those drunk friends turn into your drunk worst nightmares
We've all been bad, but only the lucky few have been throwing-up-in-the-dorm-hall bad.
Or throwing-up-on-your-neighbor's-shoes bad.
19. The pranksters who think they're hilarious but everyone wants to murder
"You know what'd be hilarious? Screwing people over in the building where they live!" SAID NO ONE EVER!!
20. Burnt. Freaking. Popcorn.
How do you expect to pass college if you can't even make a snack without evacuating the dorm?!