Homework Letter from Parent to Teacher
"Dear Mrs. Jones, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told Sarah how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had. Then I found one more in the back room, and several people were fighting over who would get it. Sarah's picture does NOT show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in. Sincerely, Mrs. Smith"
Fattest Man Consummates His Marriage
"Due to his enormous weight, Manuel was not able to consummate his wedding. Then his friends came up with an idea to build him a sex ramp with resistant concrete. The ramp allowed the man to raise the lower half of his body and his wife received a better access to Uribe's private parts."