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Valentine’s Day – She Wants This But He Wants That

Valentine's Day gifts and treats for him and her.

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1. She wants: One dozen red roses. He wants: A new game for the Xbox.

Because You can’t shoot zombies with roses.

Because You can’t shoot zombies with roses.

2. She wants: A box of heart shaped chocolates. He wants: A family size pack of Snickers to eat in the one sitting.

Because You don’t pay an extra £20 for a chocolate moulded into a heart shape.

Because You don’t pay an extra £20 for a chocolate moulded into a heart shape.

3. She wants: A romantic candlelit meal. He wants: Spicy takeaway kebab under a dimly lit street lamp.

It just tastes better and fills you up, unlike an oyster.

It just tastes better and fills you up, unlike an oyster.

4. She wants: A visit to cinema to watch 50 Shades of Grey. He wants: A visit to cinema to see the new Marvel superhero movie.

Because Spider-Man shoots webs from his wrist, Mr Grey does not.

Because Spider-Man shoots webs from his wrist, Mr Grey does not.

5. She wants: A romantic weekend in Paris. He wants: A trip to Barcelona, to the Nou Camp stadium, to see Lionel Messi play.

Oooh-la-la! What a goal. Nuff said!

Oooh-la-la! What a goal. Nuff said!

6. She wants: Expensive champagne. He wants: Posh lager (which only excludes Special Brew).

Heartburn vs cheap round.

Heartburn vs cheap round.

7. She wants: Some smooth Barry White music. He wants: Iron Maiden shaking the foundations of the house.

Because no man has ever said Barry White is sexy.

Because no man has ever said Barry White is sexy.

8. She wants: Nice lingerie from La Senza. He wants: Handcuffs from Ann Summers.

We’ve been rumbled. Men would like both.

We’ve been rumbled. Men would like both.

9. She wants: A romantic wedding proposal with him on one knee. He wants: A fast taxi.

Because Valentine’s Day is……. Beeeeep!

Because Valentine’s Day is……. Beeeeep!

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