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    12 Super Easy And Very Useful Tips For Women's Safety

    100% safety GUARANTEED maybe probably.

    1.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    If you go out at night and a man gropes your bum on the road, is it really his fault? No, think about it. You were parading your body outside at NIGHT. The female body is an exclusively sexual thing. Don't make dudes do bad shit.

    2.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    If you practise enough, maybe you can detach your soul from your body and then go out at night.

    P.S. There's a 100% possibility you might die.

    3.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    For added safety, staple your lips too.

    4.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    Did you know that sex education causes crimes against women to go up? Request a PTA meeting at your child's school and tell them to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP CAUSING RAPE.

    5.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    Great for fitness!

    6.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    You thought chow mein could cause indigestion? Think again. It's been blamed for causing rape too. Avoid at all costs.

    7.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    Uncovered women attract attention like unwrapped candy attracts flies. If you're uncovered, boys will come eat you.

    #DIDYOUKNOW: All women are direct descendants of the Jolly Rancher family.

    8.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    Try to evolve with your coverage to prevent unwarranted sexual advances.

    Some points to note:
    *Might die of suffocation
    *No WiFi signals
    *May become lunch for birds

    9.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    WARNING: You will proooobably still get groped though.

    10.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    A dude once said this works. Just call the guy "brother", simple!

    11.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    Ran out of eggs? No problem. Just call up your 40 best girlfriends and hit the nearest grocery store. SO much safer that way.

    12.

    Imaan Sheikh / BuzzFeed India

    Good luck. <3

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