9 Simple Ways To Become The Perfect Sanskari Woman

You, too, can earn the prestigious title of a "suitable girl".

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1. Clothing:

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Traditions are free of flaws and criticism, and though traditional desi clothes are universally considered amazing, you must uphold ALL kinds of traditions without giving yourself a minute to think with logic or reason.

2. Respect:

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Yes, they'll get sore sometimes from this position but it's all worth it because you are the most suitable girl in the damn world now.

3. Skills:

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If you think you can impress people by some dumb shit like a degree in physics, you're wrong. If you can't brew perfect chai, goodbye. The stomach is the way to a man's heart, and we all know men run the system. Get with the program.

4. Elegance:

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Sitting with your legs even slightly parted means that you want to fuck over the traditional Indian family system. Close your legs. Practise intertwining them. Or better yet, get surgery to become a mermaid. No legs, no issues.

6. Smiling:

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If you go to a function where lots of elders will show up, and your face still works by the end of the day, you have disappointed the distant relatives (who, by the way, are the most important).

7. Men:

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You're a very sensuous being, especially with day-3 hair, clad in your frumpiest PJs, going to get eggs from the store in the morning. Stay home. Your sexy unwashed face could force an innocent, unsuspecting man to sing a song at you.

9. Shyness:

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I don't care what you must do, don't EVER be seen with sanitary pads. And don't just "shop" for bras. What if someone notices, they might find out you have actual breasts. Abnormal and bizarre. Just sew your underwear at home.