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11 Things You'd Know If You Were A Roman Emperor

Ruling the biggest empire in the world is pretty freaking hard.

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2. When you’d rather listen to a philosopher’s speech then watch a chariot race with… people.

If you’re anything like Julian the Apostate, you might appreciate the finer things in life.

3. You’d rather do anything other then admit defeat.

Including declaring victory when you haven’t even fought. The Roman emperor Domitian marched his legions against Dacia, refused to fight, and after a few months returned to Rome without his troops. Once there, he declared Rome’s victory, even though the war was going very badly, and would continue for another twenty years.

4. You think you’re a step above the rest.

It was fairly common for an emperor to declare himself a living god or the reincarnation of Alexander the Great. There’s nothing as uplifting or stressful as thinking you’re the next great ruler.

5. You’re really talented.

Nero, god among humans

If you’re Nero for example, you might imagine yourself the world’s greatest poet, athlete and singer. If you’re really talented, you might even put people to death for falling asleep during your performances because who doesn’t love you?

8. You know how to mourn the death of a lover.

Let’s just say you took a young boy as a lover and he drowns after 7 years together. If you’re a Roman emperor, you might consider declaring him a god and creating a cult in his honour, making him the muse of many artists. (*cough* Hadrian *cough*)

10. You have a bit of a brotherly rivalry going on (and you involve the whole country).

Maybe something like Caracalla, who murdered his brother and went on to kill 20000 people whom he thought liked his brother better than him.

11. You can take on the gods, no problem.

Does this situation sound familiar? You declare war on Neptune instead of going to Britain like you said you were, and send your soldiers to stab the water. As your spoils of war, you bring back a “great treasure” of seashells. Caligula must have really loved seashells.

All joking aside, they’re our great leaders and we love them.

(Please don’t kill us.)

We love you

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