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59 Tweets From Muslim Twitter That Are Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

*laughs in Muslim*

Originally posted on
Updated on

1.

Person: "terrorist" Me: Educated them Inner me: Tell em "Thats why yo house next bitch"

2.

Man's auditioning for jahanama got talent

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3.

ukhti aisha I know you're from New York but you can't finish every dua with "deadass"

4.

My whole family need to be banned from snapchat 😂

5.

#GrowingUpMuslim Me during Ramadan: I can't eat Person: why don't u eat ur parents aren't watching Me:

6.

never saying "I love you" to anyone ever again

7.

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8.

Everything I've ever done in my life has led up to this point

9.

PSA: it's Ramadan tomorrow, so please be mindful and retweet all my selfies. Thank u

10.

So my lil brother makes his cat wear a hijab bc there are men in our house😭

11.

Headphones, for "$8,895.00" LMAOO what can you hear? Sounds from Jannah?" 😭😂

12.

Guys don't worry about meher prices. Just wait and if she's unmarried at 25 then you'll see better discounts than boxing day sales 😭🙏

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13.

Bruh this sheikh told a guy that weed was haram. The nigga said you can't spell tajweed without "weed" I'm shocked

14.

"Would you step on this puppy for 18 million" Me:

15.

When u wanna sin but u remember Allah is watching

16.

when my non-Muslim friends aren't weird about me hanging out with them and not eating

17.

When she says she only dates muslim guys

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18.

"You see J Lo? That's Jenny from the 6 now...don't make me drop 1AM in Mogadishu"

19.

When you ask your mum something and she says "inshallah"

20.

*athan app goes off in class* white girl who sits next to me:

21.

22.

i just wanted to kno my time of birth for that astrology shit and my mom had to pull out the theatrics 😭

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23.

how i was with my money in 2016 vs how i will be with it in 2017

24.

-is it Maghreb now? -No. *passes 20$ to the imam* -what about now ?

25.

ok but why is chai tea called chai tea?? chai literally means tea?? tea tea?? just like TT??

26.

Gotta spud your girl like this after you've done the Nikkah uno

27.

Your mcm vanishes in Ramadan because he is a shaitaan

28.

When your mum brings out samosas for the guests and spots you trying to take one.

29.

When you sneeze and you say "Alhamdulilah" and she hears you and says "Yarhamuk Allah"

30.

31.

ماشاء الله this cat converted to islam now wears hijab her name is catijah

32.

33.

me: *haram* me during ramadan: *slightly less haram*

34.

Favorite😂 #Mannequinchallenge

35.

When u wake up on eid and you're having a first breakfast after 30 days

36.

When you forget to read Ayatul-Kursi in the morning

37.

38.

When it's Christmas but your broke so you wife a Muslim ting

39.

Barber: How do you want it? Me: I want to know when Ramadan will end Barber: No problem cousin

40.

Mashallah, Nadia gave the Queen some dawah and her majesty now wears full hijab

41.

I think us Muslims are all good here uno

42.

Every hijabi has at least 30 hijabs but wears the same 3-4 hijabs, why? We have no idea 😭

43.

A mother was searching for her son "Takbir" in the mosque, but everytime she called his name people would say "Allahu Akbar" 😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😂

44.

Overheard in Harlem: "You lucky it's Ramadan, or I'd beat your fuckin ass. When I finish fasting in July, it's a wrap."

45.

"Zeinab, I understand you're a feminist but you can't end your dua with 'awomen' instead of 'amen'"

46.

When someone says hijab makes them uncomfortable

47.

48.

When you wake someone in up in Ramadan and they sit at the table for 5 minutes wondering what's going on 😂

49.

*saudi sheikh wakes up* what’s haram for today? *spins the fatwa wheel* cake is haram… bc it is made from eggs… which reminds us of ovaries

50.

I still laugh at this 😭😭😭

51.

52.

where does shaytaan get his nails done 👁👁

53.

I cropped my mom out of ONE of the HUNDREDS pictures we took because I didn't get a picture alone with my brothers,… https://t.co/YqAXvjiqem

54.

55.

My Muslim friend got a discount on his weed bc his dealer was Muslim too. This is the power & unity of the ummat, what a time to be alive

56.

Oh? You call yourself an Islam Stan? Name me 3 surahs

57.

Yes, your request is within the Sunnah. But it should be worded differently.

58.

I JUST CAME ACROSS TRUMP'S WORST NIGHTMARE IN MISSISSAUGA

59.

I hate when Muslim boys say where's your hijab. Shut up bruv where's your internet history

UPDATE

The first tweeter, @RuthlessJassa, has been in touch to say while he appreciates being included in the article, he is Sikh and not Muslim.

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