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1. A pyramid desk mirror you can look into just like the evil queen in Snow White. You're the fairest of them all!
2. Durable and oh-so-delightful rock coasters to keep water rings from getting on your table. Plus, you were always into having a pet rock, anyway.
3. An offbeat alarm clock to let you know when the important things are about to take place. No need to be the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland!
4. An artistic Bob Ross mug it's fine to spill coffee on yourself with (because there aren't any mistakes, only happy accidents).
5. A notepad that challenges you to write something different every day (so you can gain a little perspective).
6. A mix and match letter board that'll let everyone know breakfast won't be served EVER, so don't even ask.
7. A slothzilla shower curtain because who doesn't want an adorably giant sloth hanging in their bathroom?
8. A majestic unicorn wine holder who may actually drink the whole bottle before you even get to it.
9. Jellyfish-like planters — they resemble the one and only jellyfish field in Bikini Bottom.
10. A sushi art cookbook so you can raise your sushi game up a few notches. Who wouldn't want a panda-shaped California roll?
11. A Bob's Burgers beanie detailing the only thoughts that go through your mind. You have priorities, dammit.
12. A bunch of healing crystals so you can be in tune with the universe. Why not get involved with something new and positively witchy?
13. A whimsical spartan knife block to expertly hold your favorite cutting utensils. Be the fiercest chef your kitchen has ever seen.
14. A rainbow sippy cup so you can secretly hold all your alcoholic drinks while you're out and about. You're all about being festive!
15. A truly original mac and cheese bag that might be just as good as the real thing.
16. A gummy bear maker, because jelly candies should be ingested at any time of the day, and who in the hell has a gummy bear machine? Willy Wonka, probably.
17. A groovy succulent society patch so you can not-so-subtly let everyone know just how much you hate watering plants and how cacti are truly superior to whatever plant anyone else could think of.
18. A faux fur jacket no one else has to keep you nice and toasty while being as hip as possible. Pops of color were always your thing.
19. A pair of glam sugar skull galoshes for avoiding deadly puddles like a boss and standing out like the star you are.
20. A transparent rainbow backpack because rainclouds are just a frame of mind.
21. An absolutely darling unicorn who would be happy to help put moisture in the air (so you'll never suffer from a bloody nose) in the cutest way possible.
22. A zodiac eyeshadow and highlighter palette because your favorite shade is written in the stars.
23. A galaxy bath bomb with avocado oil to soothe the dry-ass skin that comes with winter, all while giving you a bath that's out of this world.
You're amazing and so is your taste. Fancy Squidward would be proud.
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.