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26 Things To Make You Go "What The Fuck Is This Shit?"

Mind-boggling products you'll be absolutely repulsed and intrigued by.

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We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

1. An absolutely useful toilet mug so you can sip on your daily bullshit before getting down to business.

Promising review: "I bought this for my family's Yankee swap. I filled the bowl with brown paper filler and unwrapped tootsie rolls. I thought it was well made and TBH I would probably plant something in it, but my cousin drinks out of it all the time!" —NikkiLiz

Get it from Amazon for $12.99 or Walmart for $14.95.

2. A can of dehydrated water that'll definitely come in handy if you're ever in the middle of the desert and close to death.

Promising review: "Great, and no problems; it was what I thought it was. I just have to add water now!" —Nick

Get it from Amazon for $10.99.


4. A pair of claw-shaped pot holders that'll be great for NOT burning yourself when you're making that lobster ravioli.

Promising Review: "This was an excellent housewarming gift for my little brother. He was impressed by their versatility — they don't just pick up pots, but they can also be used to chase nieces around the house." —Sunday Socks

Get them from Amazon for $16.35.

7. A pair of zombie slippers so you can slowly transition into being a part of the undead — hopefully they like to eat things other than human flesh, since you're vegetarian.

Promising review: "I bought these for my nephew who loves zombies, and he loved them! The floppy, loose eyeball was a funny touch. They fit well and have held up for several months now." —Melanie

Get them from Amazon for $18.73+ or Walmart for $25.99.


10. A pair of Arizona Iced Tea boxer briefs, because you're an absolute SNACK and your underwear should reflect that.

Promising review: "PSD underwear looks good, feels good, and are extremely form-fitting. Big fan!" —M. Martin

Get them from Amazon for $23.99+ (available in sizes XL–XXL).

11. An avant-guarde pillow hat to wear outside in the company of humans, because you're living in motherfucking 3018 — everyone else is behind!


12. An action-filled shower curtain that'll show everyone who walks into your bathroom that unicorns are actually fucking jerks who need to be eliminated immediately.

Promising review: "Every time someone goes into my bathroom I either hear a 'haha,' or 'what in the hell?' Totally worth it." —Olive

Get it from Amazon for $49.99.

13. A poop pen, because everything you say is (and will always be) full of shit.

Promising review: "It's a pen that looks like poop. Luckily it does not smell like poop or crumble in your hand like real poop would. Corn and peanut accents would be a nice addition." —Imnertnert

Get it from Amazon for $5.97.

15. A pair of handerpants so you can keep your palms nice, warm, and supported during these trying times.

Promising review: "Don't eat brown or yellow food with these, it makes it look like you crapped your hands. Other than that, they are great." —Mephisto Perass

Get them from Amazon for $12.65 or Walmart for $12.32.


16. An anti-stress ball to pound out all the crazy shit you've been dealing with, and even better, the ball is totally there with you emotionally.

Promising review: "These were just amazingly funny and the people I gave them to got a huge kick out of these anti-stress balls. The big plus is no one threw them at me; not that they would have hurt! They are very soft, squeezable, and the faces are hilarious. Cute product." —Debra L.

Get it from Amazon for $16.30.

17. A T-rex notepad that'll let you and all of your short-armed friends air their grievances about not being able to grab the takeout from the McDonalds drive-through.

Promising review: "Super funny book! I laughed and laughed. This is appropriate for all ages in my opinion. Perfect coffee table book!" —E. L. Marshall

Get it from Amazon for $8.99 or Walmart for $21.83.

18. A truly touching cat scratcher to put in your mouth so you can, essentially, lick your cat and bond with him like a mama does a kitten.

Promising review: "Makes a hilarious gift for a cat lover. I don't know how practical it is, but I definitely didn't buy it for its practicality." —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $11.98 or Walmart for $11.98.


20. A sexy-ass peacock thong that'll decorate your gonads in a colorful way just in time for that Magic Mike striptease you've got in store for the bae at home.

Promising review: "I got this as a gag gift for one of my friends, and his wife seems to love it!" —ParrishT13

Get it from Amazon for $7.99.

21. A pair of unique sunglasses that'll open up your third eye so you can continue to be woke AF. You're on another plane of existence.

Promising review: "I wear these damn glasses everyday. Rain, snow and especially sunshine. They're always a hit where ever I go." —Aaron Mayzing

Get it from Amazon for $23 (available in six colors).

22. A pair of duck feet to pop onto your fingers for waddling around all the work you gotta do.

Ok but I really thought they were shoes — I was so wrong.

Promising review: "Amazing duck feet. They waddle nicely." —Five old dogs

Get them from Amazon for $5.99, Walmart for $5.99, or Jet for $5.99.


24. A one pound replica of human body fat to remind yourself that yes, you are indeed a bag of flesh and bones.

And lard, apparently. The existentialism is disturbing.

Promising review: "Just as gross as in real life!" —Lola's mom

Get it from Amazon for $23.10.

25. A lovely book of images that shouldn't make your nether regions tingle, but then again, I don't know your life.

Promising review: "The title of this book was very deceptive. I found each image to be uniquely arousing. I don't know what they are talking about because I masturbated easily to every page of this book." —Angela Cardoso

Get it from Amazon for $9.95, Barnes and Noble for $9.95 or a local bookseller through Indiebound here.

26. And a bottle of knowing hand sanitizer to use after you've given up trying not to scratch the itch. Your libido won and those pictures really did turn you on.

Promising review: "I bought this as a stocking stuffer for my brother-in-law; he thought it was awesome!" —AussieMumInUS

Get it from Amazon for $6.01.

  1. Am I slowly losing my mind?

    Am I slowly losing my mind?
    Yes, you are. What even are these products?
    Keep doing what you're doing boo! Be weird!
    I don't even have the words to describe the horrors I've witnessed.<br />
    That hairy Barbie, though!<br /><br /><br />
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