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26 Things To Make You Go "What In The World Even Is This?"

Mind-boggling products you'll be absolutely repulsed and intrigued by.

We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI β€” prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

1. An absolutely useful toilet mug so you can sip on your daily bullshit before getting down to business.

Promising review: "I bought this for my family's Yankee swap. I filled the bowl with brown paper filler and unwrapped tootsie rolls. I thought it was well made and TBH I would probably plant something in it, but my cousin drinks out of it all the time!" β€”NikkiLiz

Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

2. A can of dehydrated water that'll definitely come in handy if you're ever in the middle of the desert and close to death.

Promising review: "Great, and no problems; it was what I thought it was. I just have to add water now!" β€”Nick

Get it from Amazon for $10.99.

3. A doughnut-warming mug because of course you'd want your fried dough to be nice and toasty when you're drinking a cup of joe.

Get it from Uncommon Goods for $14.95.

4. A pair of claw-shaped pot holders that'll be great for NOT burning yourself when you're making that lobster ravioli.

Promising Review: "This was an excellent housewarming gift for my little brother. He was impressed by their versatility β€” they don't just pick up pots, but they can also be used to chase nieces around the house." β€”Sunday Socks

Get them from Amazon for $16.35.

5. A baby shark tail to dress your little bundle of joy in so they'll always remember their true calling as the king of the seven seas.

Get it from Uncommon Goods for $30.

6. A glorious meme of a necklace, because you'd also order none pizza with left beef if you had anything to say about it.

Get it from Neat Eats on Etsy for $18.66+ (available in 18–30 inches).

7. A pair of zombie slippers so you can slowly transition into being a part of the undead β€” hopefully they like to eat things other than human flesh, since you're vegetarian.

Promising review: "I bought these for my nephew who loves zombies, and he loved them! The floppy, loose eyeball was a funny touch. They fit well and have held up for several months now." β€”Melanie

Get them from Amazon for $18.73+.

8. A handy plant-like toilet brush because why not confuse your guests (and yourself) about why a whole leaf is near your toilet bowl.

Get it from Y Living for $60.

9. An old lady mural to keep by your bedside as a reminder to brush your damn teethβ€” you don't want your dentures to run away from you.

Promising review: "Edna is my girl." β€”Shadi

Get it from Amazon for $23.98.

10. A pair of Arizona Iced Tea boxer briefs, because you're an absolute SNACK and your underwear should reflect that.

Promising review: "PSD underwear looks good, feels good, and are extremely form-fitting. Big fan!" β€”M. Martin

Get them from Amazon for $23.99+ (available in sizes XL–XXL).

11. An avant-guarde pillow hat to wear outside in the company of humans, because you're living in motherfucking 3018 β€” everyone else is behind!

What the fuck, but make it fashion!

Get it from Apollo Box for $48.98 (available in two colors).

12. An action-filled shower curtain that'll show everyone who walks into your bathroom that unicorns are actually fucking jerks who need to be eliminated immediately.

Promising review: "Every time someone goes into my bathroom I either hear a 'haha,' or 'what in the hell?' Totally worth it." β€”Olive

Get it from Amazon for $49.99.

13. A poop pen, because everything you say is (and will always be) full of shit.

Promising review: "It's a pen that looks like poop. Luckily it does not smell like poop or crumble in your hand like real poop would. Corn and peanut accents would be a nice addition." β€”Imnertnert

Get it from Amazon for $5.97.

14. A batch of bloody feet bath bombs to live out your (not so secret) dreams of being a mortician.

Get it from The MAD Bombers on Etsy for $10 each.

15. A pair of handerpants so you can keep your palms nice, warm, and supported during these trying times.

Promising review: "Don't eat brown or yellow food with these, it makes it look like you crapped your hands. Other than that, they are great." β€”Mephisto Perass

Get them from Amazon for $12.65.

16. An anti-stress ball to pound out all the crazy shit you've been dealing with, and even better, the ball is totally there with you emotionally.

Promising review: "These were just amazingly funny and the people I gave them to got a huge kick out of these anti-stress balls. The big plus is no one threw them at me; not that they would have hurt! They are very soft, squeezable, and the faces are hilarious. Cute product." β€”Debra L.

Get it from Amazon for $16.30.

17. A T-rex notepad that'll let you and all of your short-armed friends air their grievances about not being able to grab the takeout from the McDonalds drive-through.

Promising review: "Super funny book! I laughed and laughed. This is appropriate for all ages in my opinion. Perfect coffee table book!" β€”E. L. Marshall

Get it from Amazon for $8.99.

18. A truly touching cat scratcher to put in your mouth so you can, essentially, lick your cat and bond with him like a mama does a kitten.

Promising review: "Makes a hilarious gift for a cat lover. I don't know how practical it is, but I definitely didn't buy it for its practicality." β€”Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $11.98.

19. A hairy Barbie you can shave if you want since you've been itching for some hair removal.

Get it from Thoughtful Tot on Etsy for $12.99 (available in four colors).

20. A sexy-ass peacock thong that'll decorate your gonads in a colorful way just in time for that Magic Mike striptease you've got in store for the bae at home.

Promising review: "I got this as a gag gift for one of my friends, and his wife seems to love it!" β€”ParrishT13

Get it from Amazon for $7.99.

21. A pair of unique sunglasses that'll open up your third eye so you can continue to be woke AF. You're on another plane of existence.

Promising review: "I wear these damn glasses everyday. Rain, snow and especially sunshine. They're always a hit where ever I go." β€”Aaron Mayzing

Get it from Amazon for $23 (available in six colors).

22. A pair of duck feet to pop onto your fingers for waddling around all the work you gotta do.

Ok but I really thought they were shoes β€” I was so wrong.

Promising review: "Amazing duck feet. They waddle nicely." β€”Five old dogs

Get them from Amazon for $5.99.

23. A miniature brain for decorating your coffee table. If anyone asks about it, say they're next.

Get it from Artificialia Room on Etsy for $30.50.

24. A one pound replica of human body fat to remind yourself that yes, you are indeed a bag of flesh and bones.

And lard, apparently. The existentialism is disturbing.

Promising review: "Just as gross as in real life!" β€”Lola's mom

Get it from Amazon for $23.10.

25. A lovely book of images that shouldn't make your nether regions tingle, but then again, I don't know your life.


Promising review: "The title of this book was very deceptive. I found each image to be uniquely arousing. I don't know what they are talking about because I masturbated easily to every page of this book." β€”Angela Cardoso

Get it from Amazon for $9.95, Barnes and Noble for $9.95 or a local bookseller through Indiebound here.

26. And a bottle of knowing hand sanitizer to use after you've given up trying not to scratch the itch. Your libido won and those pictures really did turn you on.

Promising review: "I bought this as a stocking stuffer for my brother-in-law; he thought it was awesome!" β€”AussieMumInUS

Get it from Amazon for $6.01.

Y'all trying to process what you just scrolled through:

Harpo Productions

Same, tbh.

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Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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