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Hey you crazy kids! Lovehoney is having a sale and so many dope sex toys are up to 50% off, just in time for the holidays! Not only that, but there are super-expensive gift sets for up to 81% off — they'll wind up saving you $212! That's a steal if I've ever heard of one.
Here are our top picks:
1. A luxury stainless steel G-spot dildo to rub against your spot until you say stop. Plus it's so pretty?
2. A love rider vibrator with 10 functions and a suction cup so you can slap the thing onto any flat surface and ride away.
3. A Broad City "Yas Kween" bullet vibrator with 10 powerful functions whenever you wanna get off in a rush.
4. A ribbed pocket vagina for any penis owner to get lost in. Just make sure to lube up first.
5. A rechargeable mini wand vibrator that'll be perfect to carry with you on any and all vacations for some ideal relaxation.
6. A mini double penetration dildo for double the fun.
7. A 50 Shades Of Grey Ultimate Gift Set that'll bring out your kinky side, because you know you've been wanting to get tied up for weeks now.
8. A remote control egg vibe with tons of different speeds to use with bae whenever y'all are feeling a bit like exibitionists.
9. A Lelo Soraya rabbit vibrator, because having a vaginal and clitoral orgasm at the same time sounds oh-so delightful.
10. A couple's holiday gift set so you and bae can reach higher heights...together.
11. A powerful wand vibrator with 10 speeds and 20 pulsating patterns because you need some variation to truly have a good time in the bedroom.
12. A classic rabbit vibe for dual stimulation that'll have you crying tears of joy after the multiple orgasms.
13. A six-inch classic vibrator with fun little ridges for extra stimulation on those nights when you just can't get enough.
14. A Motorhead Bomber glass dildo that'll give you a couple of ~bomb-ass orgasms~ before you go to bed.
15. A butterfly strap-on vibe to place right on your clit, because you'd love to orgasm without actually having to do anything. Plus it'll make couple's play even more...steamy.
16. A realistic squirting dildo so you can get the ultimate feeling of sex with a penis without actually having to swipe through Tinder for an acceptable (and kinky) match.
17. A weighted curved silicone dildo with a nice velvety texture to tickle your insides (especially your G-spot) over and over again.
18. A ribbed anal starter because you wouldn't want to stretch your sensitive booty too far on your first go. You heard that ribbed surfaces are supposed to be extra pleasurable!
19. A clitoral caress vibrator to discreetly hide in your underwear just in case you're feeling a bit frisky and a lot horny while running errands.
20. A Broad City G-spot vibrator with multiple speeds to get you to that major orgasm in 10 seconds, flat.
Shop the whole sale at Lovehoney!
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Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.