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1. A magical toilet wand with disposable brushes, making it so much easier to clean those nasty toilet stains you keep on creating. There's only two of you in the house and they know you did it.
2. A styling station to store your hot curling iron and blowdryer so your boo isn't driving themselves up the wall looking for counter space to brush their fucking teeth. Be a little considerate, maybe?
3. Poo-pourri, because your poop sure DOES stink, and even if your girlfriend loves you, she doesn't want to smell the leftovers while she's getting ready for work.
4. An all natural odor-eliminating bag with activated charcoal you can use for two whole years to fight nasty-ass smells before they actually get a chance to drive you up the wall.
5. A pack of stick-on storage containers that will keep those pesky bobby pins from falling on the floor and poking the bottom of your S.O.'s foot. Ouch, man.
6. A pop-on outlet shelf that'll totally house your clippers or various razors so the tiny hairs aren't falling on the counter to the utter annoyance of your significant other.
7. A useful pumice stone for the disgusting toilet bowl rings that just won't go away. You've asked them to scrub so many times.
8. And a pack of automatic Lysol Click Gel toilet bowl cleaners so that cesspool can actually stay clean (since they hate cleaning the bathroom so much...).
9. A magical Tub Shroom to catch stray hairs, saving both you and your soulmate the drama of a clogged tub. You may be destined, but even that has its limits.
10. A handy bath mat with a textured surface so you won't slip and slide because someone forgot to rinse the conditioner from the shower floor...again.
11. A clear cosmetic storage box that'll organize your foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and whatever else you use to glam up your face. It'll all be in one place so someone can find the damn soap dish.
12. A mildew-resistant shower liner convenient for you and your boo because both of you hate cleaning the bathroom and especially changing the curtains.
13. A grout-cleaning brush so you and your lover don't die from the really intense mold that'll build up if y'all don't clean the inside of your shower every so often.
14. Or a heavy duty drill brush attachment kit that'll literally make any and every surface in the tiny bathroom you share spotless within minutes, which means more time for kisses and quality time.
15. A handy shower handle so you can have steamy shower sex without dying from a concussion. It's always a risk, but this can make it a hundred times safer.
16. A toilet shelf to keep all of your extra shit where it belongs so no one has to stub their toe when dropping a deuce.
17. A canister of Clorox wipes to make it even easier to clean up your shavings or makeup stains, so no one else will have to!
18. A shower locker to prevent your love from stealing your favorite shampoo and conditioner. Yeah, sharing is caring, but not when they use half the bottle.
19. A corner shower caddy so you won't trip over all your S.O.'s stray shampoo bottles on the side of the tub and break your neck.
20. A hamper to keep all of your dirty, stinky clothes off of the floor so that they never soak up the extra moisture down there and become mildewy. That was your sweetheart's favorite sweater!
21. A flexible drain snake that'll scoop up all the build-up of multiple hair washes, so you won't be ankle deep in water when there's shower sex with bae to have.
22. A rubber broom to get all your hair off the floor so the person you're loving doesn't have your locks stuck to the bottom of their feet.
23. Or a handy cordless vacuum if you really don't have the time to get all the stray hairs from your head off the floor.
24. An absolutely nonslip memory foam bath mat so you can stop leaving actual ponds on the floor for your darling to clean up.
25. A glorious Squatty Potty to have the swiftest, most comfortable poop possible, cutting down the complaints of someone needing to use the bathroom, and "Can you please finish already?"
26. An overflow drain cover so you don't have to hear your boo complain about how the water just kept on leaking during their long and luxurious bath. Plus, once it's fixed you two can have ~sexy bath time~ if you know what I mean.
27. And a can of Kaboom to get all the disgusting, dirty grime off your shower tiles without using all that elbow grease. You're still gonna complain to your S.O. though — who doesn't want a massage?
Yeah, once you clean the bathroom first!
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.