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1. A basic black picture frame to hang the memories you'll never want to forget, like the time you went to the Great Wall. Ok, so maybe you wanna brag a little, but who hasn't?
2. A pack of false eyelashes that'll step up your eye game a few notches, making them longer and more voluminous.
3. A travel pillow to support your big-ass head so you won't have neck pains while visiting your parents or backpacking through Europe.
4. A game of UNO, so you and your family can match colors and numbers, as well as ruin friendships with draw fours.
5. A glass nail file for keeping your nails nice and smooth in between appointments. Plus, they're better for your nails than regular ol' emery boards!
6. A batch of virgin coconut oil that'll definitely work miracles such as keeping your hair shiny and moisturized and your skin supple.
7. A vintage tea dress fancy enough to wear to formal events and on your way to the grocery store. Versatility!
8. A foot massager every person who works in retail can't wait to use when they get home. Your dogs are barking and you need some relief, dammit!
9. A La Coeur De La Mer — it's the heart of the ocean made with swarovski crystals! Hopefully you don't throw it into the fucking sea like Rose did. Only a rich person would do that, let's be honest.
10. A handy (and completely shiny) iPhone 7 Plus case to keep that glass screen from breaking, leaving you to wonder if your selfies are actually that epic through various cracks where your face would've been.
11. Humans Of New York York: Stories for telling you the candid lives of your fellow humans (young and old) and reminding you that everyone has gone through some crazy shit and still survived. Shout out to them.
12. A bag of raw cocao powder to make your organic brownies and hot cocoa, because chocolate is life.
13. A smooth snow broom that won't scratch the paint on your car. It expands to 46 inches, which is perfect for you and your short arms. Snow be gone!
14. An Etude House eyebrow pencil with an added spoolie to keep your brows on fleek at all times.
15. A cool alarm clock that'll simulate a sunrise to get you to wake up naturally, instead of shocked by the reality that is your life and the garbage year that was 2017.
16. A pair of extra sharp kitchen shears to cut that turkey, chicken, and other meats like the chef you were meant to be.
17. A bear claw back scratcher that'll make it easier to reach that one spot.
18. A neutral eyeshadow palette with a blendable powdery formula to create the smokiest eye you've ever seen (so far).
19. A strawberry huller that'll take the hard, nasty parts of your favorite fruit out so you can fill them with chocolate and be merry.
20. An expandable, bamboo draw organizer to make sure all of your knives, spoons, and forks are all in the right place when you need them.
21. A batch of Himalayan body scrub that'll exfoliate with the help of pink salt, and smooth your skin with sweet almond and lychee fruit oils.
22. A rolling tray bundle so you can roll multiple blunts with the ease of Snoop Dogg himself.
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.