16 Reasons You'd Probably Die At Hogwarts

You should actually be glad you never got that letter from Hogwarts.

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1. The Grand Staircase

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Reason: How would you have ever gotten anywhere using these steps? Also, if you get motion sick, I'd imagine you'd spend a lot of time puking...and maybe falling to your death.

Chances of death: Lavender Brown

2. Fluffy

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Reason: I guess Sharknado was busy, so a giant three-headed dog was put in charge of keeping students away from the Philosopher's Stone.

Chances of Death: Bathilda Bagshot

5. Dementors

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Reason: Has a prisoner escaped from Azkaban? Welp, better send these demon monsters to Hogwarts so they can suck the soul out of every student.

Chances of Death: Nymphadora Tonks

9. The Room of Requirement

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Reason: You might get your first kiss with the love of your life in here... or you might die in a horrible fire.

Chances of Death: Crabbe (or Goyle, depending)

15. The Staff

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Reason: Maybe Snape is just doing it to protect you, but Dolores Umbridge definitely wants to scar you for life, and most of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professors definitely want you dead.

Chances of Death: Severus Snape

16. Your Wand

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Reason: Mastubration jokes aside... YOUR WAND IS LIKE A GUN. "Here you go, small child who is new to magic, have this thing that can kill everyone... just, you know, be careful or whatever."

Chances of Death: Pandora Lovegood