While many know him simply as Vampire Weekend's frontman, an equally suitable title for Ezra Koenig is Twitter God. Regrettably, Koenig tweets these days are few and far between, but what better way to commemorate them than to apply them to astrological signs? Happy Sag season!
1. Aries:
Look upon my prettiness, ye Motherfuckers, and despair!
2. Taurus:
I don't mind that it took u 2+ hrs to respond to my text...as long as u were in the library researching, drafting & editing said text
3. Gemini:
too little, too late is sad/pathetic. too MUCH, too late is kinda cool
4. Cancer:
i wonder if the barista knows i have experienced every possible human emotion in the 20 minutes i've been sat here drinking this americano
5. Leo:
@hxlina cuz my sweaters r cashmere idk
6. Virgo:
don't lecture me on self-promotion. it's not my fault i was born into this late-capitalist hell. vampire weekend three albums in stores now.
7. Libra:
HUGS NOT UGH'S
8. Scorpio:
yesterday was April Fools Day. couldn't trust nothing/nobody. the world was full of lies and deceit. Today - what's different?
9. Sagittarius:
as if my goth cred wasn't already on thin ice, I have just learned that 2 beloved black articles of clothing are actually "midnight blue"
10. Capricorn:
everyone in my mentions is telling me I just became the prime minister of Canada. this is like my very own "Princess Diaries" 🇨🇦
11. Aquarius:
someone just called me a "bafoon" in a text...and it still hurt
12. Pisces:
I caress a wet fleece once or twice a week
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