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19 Tweets That Will Make Single People Laugh, Then Cry

Saging lang naman ako. You know, halaman na may puso.

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1. The cold, hard truth.

Physical appearances aside, though, you're still a ~*kakaibabe*~

2. I mean, really.

perks of dating me: 1. panget ako kaya wala kang kaagaw 2. 3. 4. 5.

I mean, my face may not be as symmetrical as Liza Soberano's, but I'm still a keeper.

3. Say no more.

gusto ko ng sparks and kaforever say no more

*cues Jadine* naniniwala na ako sa forever...

4. Sariling sikap.

Crush: Uy, baka naman may kilala kang handa akong mahalin at kaya akong tanggapin ng buong buo Me:

Crush, I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE.

5. ABORT MISSION.

me: *trying to move on kay crush* crush: "Hi" me:

"Wala na akong feelings for her, du--hi, kamusta ka na?"

6. Get a room, guys!

When your friends make landi in front of you and you know na walang forever.

I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing that, you know!

7. When you wish you had known better.

yung naniwala ka sa lahat ng sinabi niya...

Yun pala, kasing dami ng sapatos sa Marikina yung pinagsasabihan niya nun. Tragic.

8. STEAL!!!

yung nalaman mo na break na yung crush mo at jowa nya me: OY OYYYY!!!!! STEAL!!!!

*vigorously presses the red button and turns the chair around* I. WANT. YOU.

9. You don't find time, you make it.

"kahit gaano pa ka busy ang isang tao, kung mahal ka nyan, hindi yan mawawalan ng oras para sayo."

Like this Shakey's employee finding the right work life-love life balance.

10. Who says math can't be used outside of school?

crush: "gusto ko sa jowa alam difference ng "nang" at "ng"" me: Nang - ng ----------------- Na

Well, she isn't wrong.

11. 1+1=2???

Alam mo crush ganito lang kasi yan. Magiging crush ka din ng crush mo kung ako ang crush mo. Basic grabe.

Oo nga naman.

12. Hard same.

Who knew you could relate to rice on such a spiritual level?

13. Okay lang ako, I swear.

I'm used to it na, bimb.

14. TBH, dinaig pa ako ng diaper.

me: pabili pong diaper tindera: pampers? me: hindi po, hindi ako pampers, lagi po akong pam-second HAHAHAHAHAHAYAWQNAHAHAHAHAH

Brb, walking myself to the diaper aisle para maranasan ko maging pers.

15. Buti pa gas, nagmamahal.

SHET NAGMAMAHAL NA ANG PRESYO NG GASOLINA!!!!!!!!!11111

Does this make it my LOVE from the STAR (oil)?

16. So, what are you into?

grabe fetish ko talaga yung constant communication and assurance

Well, what can I say? I love my kinks.

17. Sweet good morning messages.

Texts most people receive: "Good morning babe!" "I miss you!" "I wanna see you today." Texts I receive:

Thanks to my telecom carrier.

18. Sayang tulog ko, dude.

naaalala ko yung mga late night conversations natin wala lang, sayang lang sana pala natulog na lang ako nun kulang tuloy tulog ko ngayon

For the record, sleep > you.

19. But at the end of it all,

Pls don't feel sorry for me whenever I eat alone or go to places by myself because my alone time gives me so much life and energy

Being single isn't always as bad as people make it seem.

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