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Government Promotes "British Values", Brits Respond By Taking The Piss

Theresa May wants to promote "British values", in order to combat extremism. Naturally, people on the internet have ideas about what those values might be. Such as...

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1. Going for a #CheekyNandos.

I mean Theresa May could at least have said that #Britishvalues includes cheeky nandos. Maybe it'll be in the legislation.

2. Going for another #CheekyNandos.

Or #cheekynandos with the lads and some top bants. #britishvalues

3. Sipping a cup of tea, after your third #CheekyNandos.

No argument cannot be solved with a cup of tea after a #cheekynandos #BritishValues

4. Unintentionally ruining someone's night out.

Standing to drink at the bar in the pub so no-one else can order a drink because you're in the way... #britishvalues

5. Making passive-aggressive signs to keep those pesky kids off your land.

Having the best grasp of the #English Language any where in the World. #britishvalues

6. Taking supermarket hospitality for granted.

#BritishValues Abusing the free coffee offer at Waitrose

7. Queueing up in line properly, but still being passive-aggressive about it.

#Britishvalues QUE OR DIE. If they aint queing then dont speak up though thats also rude.

8. When your whole life consists of being in queues.

9. Making sure you do holidays properly.

#britishvalues expecting every foreign holiday destination to have a karaoke bar and a roast on a sunday

10. Making sure you treat tourists well.

Shouting at foreign visitors, generally. #britishvalues

11. And introduce them to your country's finest traditions.

Shouting "Get in the bloody queue!" at foreign visitors who've no idea WTF a "queue" is. #britishvalues

12. Being a "foul-bowelled" hooligan and shitting down someone's chimney.

#britishvalues I'M DEADπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’€ H/T @LibertySlap

13. Caring about the environment but also having a pretty banging ride.

Driving an Aston Martin whilst simultaneously writing to government ministers to urge action on the environment #britishvalues

14. Having an inability to show love to anyone.

Do sex badly and awkwardly #britishvalues

15. But making sure your expectations are fairly realistic.

16. Really though, there's only one British value that most people agree on.

Going for a cheeky pint and ending up absolutely trollied #britishvalues

Hussein Kesvani is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.

Contact Hussein Kesvani at

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