1. On the last day of the papal conclave, there was a seagull flying about.
2. Tired, the seagull landed upon a chimney.
3. But this was not just any chimney.
4. No, this was the papal chimney.
5. This was the chimney from which the world would learn there is a new pope.
6. And there the bird sat, blissfully unaware the eyes of the world were transfixed upon him.
7. Until he was done sitting and then he left.
8. God bless you pope bird. Amen.
- Almost 70 people have died in car bombings in Iraq since Saturday, authorities say.
- People trolled the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency for tweeting elements of the historic Osama bin Laden raid in Pakistan five years ago.
- And elephants performed for the last time at Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey after years of protest from animal advocates 🐘