1. On the last day of the papal conclave, there was a seagull flying about.
2. Tired, the seagull landed upon a chimney.
3. But this was not just any chimney.
4. No, this was the papal chimney.
5. This was the chimney from which the world would learn there is a new pope.
6. And there the bird sat, blissfully unaware the eyes of the world were transfixed upon him.
7. Until he was done sitting and then he left.
8. God bless you pope bird. Amen.
- Top legal scholars will be filing the 1st major lawsuit against President Donald Trump's alleged business conflicts on Monday.
- "Welcome to the movement": Women's March on Washington organizers are working tirelessly to make sure first-time marchers stick around ✊
- A mass grave in Mexico contained the remains of 56 people, many of whom went missing in 2010, authorities said Sunday.
- The New England Patriots are heading to the Super Bowl yet again. They'll play the Atlanta Falcons on Feb. 5 🏈