1. On the last day of the papal conclave, there was a seagull flying about.
2. Tired, the seagull landed upon a chimney.
3. But this was not just any chimney.
4. No, this was the papal chimney.
5. This was the chimney from which the world would learn there is a new pope.
6. And there the bird sat, blissfully unaware the eyes of the world were transfixed upon him.
7. Until he was done sitting and then he left.
8. God bless you pope bird. Amen.
- Kim Jong Nam, the half-brother of North Korea's leader, was killed with a chemical weapon last week at an airport in Malaysia.
- Caitlyn Jenner told President Trump his administration's rollback of protections for transgender kids was a "disaster" 😳
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