23 Questions Left Unanswered In “Cry Baby”

Because although our love for Johnny Depp makes perfect sense, this movie doesn’t.

1. Who breaks in line for a polio vaccine?

This guy apparently.

2. Back then, didn’t they have special “schools” for girls who were knocked up?

3. Who decided a good meet cute was polio vaccination?

I know when I get a painful vaccination I’m worried about flirting with the guy next to me.

4. What’s with the weird shuffle across the street Cry Baby?

It’s like an awkward duck walk. Weird.

5. How’d he do that thing with the match?!

It’s like some kind of sorcery!

6. How can she still find him sexy after threatening to cut her grandma & THEN trying to run them off the road?!

Allison, get your crap together girl!

7. Why doesn’t it bother anyone that everyone sees Uncle Belvedere naked?

Eew! There are children around!
Also, who names their kid Belvedere?

8. Pepper has 2 other kids…so, when did she start having kids?

She has to be at least 15, but no older than 19. Still disturbing.

9. Is this guy high?

I seriously watched the scene at the talent show 3 times just to see this guy. He’s awesome.

10. What’s so impressive about her “bazoons”?

Oh, please.

11. What is with the kissing?

Ugh! It’s like a middle school dance!

12. She’s saving herself for her parents’ sake…whaaa?

Oh! Come on!

13. Why are the Drapes being arrested?

“They started it” should be defense enough…and the Squares were on the Drapes’ property. Ever heard of trespassing?

14. How did Hatchetface’s mom’s iron lung suddenly pop a tire?

It was on a flat surface. Standing still!
Also, it’s very obvious that the only problem with her face is that she can’t put makeup on correctly.

15. How did the orphanage worker not recognize Pepper, Belvedere, and Ramona?

She was in the courtroom with them when the children were taken away!

16. Why is Baldwin being such a jerk to Allison now?

Get with it! Keep acting like a sleazeball and she’ll leave ya know!

17. What caused the sudden change in Grandma?

She was super strict, disliking words like “hip”, but now she’s calling Loraine a tramp.

18. Does singing on the hood of car really get someone out of prison?

I’m pretty sure our justice system doesn’t work like that.
Also, the judge was just at the amusement park and knew of their plan, why doesn’t he do something before the last possible moment?

19. Why are all the other women dancing with men they’ve never met before?

Grandma gettin’ freaky!

20. Why does Grandmother end up in the car with the Squares?

She’s had a big night.

21. Speaking of, why would you put a woman who’s obviously in labor in the back seat during a chicken race?

This is the craziest chicken race ever.
Also, if Cry Baby & Baldwin are on top, does that mean the real challengers are Belvedere & mystery Square?

22. Why does he have 2 tears now?

Is one for Allison? Because he has her now. That wouldn’t make sense. Or has he let go of the pain and anger from his youth?

23. How much would I have to pay to have Johnny Depp call me “Sugar”?

My soul?

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