I'm A Casual Marvel Fan, But I Just Watched Episode 1 Of "The Falcon And The Winter Soldier" And Had Some Thoughts

    41. I'm confused about what this hand app thing is.

    Hope Lasater
    by Hope Lasater

    BuzzFeed Staff

    I recently watched all of the fantastic WandaVision, and I had a lot of thoughts, so I decided to watch Marvel's new show, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and document my thoughts for each episode.

    Marvel Studios / Via giphy.com

    ^I love bro handshakes.

    The thing is, I like Marvel movies, but I have no expertise or superior knowledge whatsoever. I just have a good time watching superheroes do stuff. So these are not the thoughts of a Marvel PhD.

    Now, let's get into Episode 1, "New World Order."

    1. Lolllllll. I love that Anthony Mackie has a Captain America shield–specific bag. I feel like this isn't a new bag, but it's hilarious to me nonetheless.

    Anthony Mackie putting the shield in a round bag
    Marvel Studios

    2. I'm a little confused about how Anthony Mackie is going to be Captain America because — correct me if I'm wrong — he doesn't have the superpowers. I guess he's the transition into Captain America being, like, a theme?

    3. Ugh, this is about to be a fight scene. Not my thing.

    4. These people live in a world with aliens and many, many superheroes. Why does Plane Hijacker #2 not believe Plane Hijacker #1 when he says he saw a man on the windshield?

    5. Now we're fighting. This is not, as they say on Love Island UK, "a bit of me." It's doing a solid job of showing us Anthony Mackie's suit, though.

    6. Shooting someone while you're skydiving is BOLD.

    7. People really love to take from Star Wars and have swooping races in canyons.

    8. Dear my colleague who's going to make the "Which The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Character Are You?" quiz: Please include Redwing.

    9. There's been fighting for so long now. So far, this show is no WandaVision, but hey, good things come to those who watch more TV.

    10. I wonder how long it's been since Chris Evans went away. We'll find out.

    11. What is that red hand in this app? When does that show up? If it shows up when there's a baddie, why don't they fight the baddie?

    12. Why did we just hear that Anthony Mackie's friend is paying for the meal? That's got to be relevant later because we've heard about it, but how will THAT be relevant?

    13. Is "He mastered posing stoically" a secret dig at Chris Evans's acting? I thought he was good!

    14. Don Cheadle! Hi!

    15. Is it time to really quickly acknowledge that "Captain America" is kind of a dumb name?

    16. Hahahaha. Anthony Mackie and Don Cheadle are walking through a Captain America exhibit in the Smithsonian, just in case you missed the looming pressure and legacy that is Chris Evans's Captain America.

    Don Cheadle and Anthony Mackie standing in a Captain America exhibit
    Marvel Studios

    17. This hotel is so beautiful.

    18. Jesus Christ, Sebastian Stan surprised me. But hi, Sebastian Stan!

    19. More guns and more fighting. Kewl. And he just strangled a man! I don't need to watch that.

    20. Also, he said, "Hail Hydra"??? But I thought he was getting over all that!

    21. Oh, it's a nightmare. You got me, show!

    22. I like that Sebastian Stan is sleeping on the floor, in a room with at least two chairs, while soccer is playing on the TV. That means he was watching soccer on the floor before he fell asleep. He hangs out on the floor.

    23. I don't like all these angled close-ups.

    24. Why is Sebastian Stan threatened by his therapist's notebook?

    25. This flashback scene is fun.

    26. Shoutout to the therapist for saying to Sebastian Stan, "One day, you're going to have to open up and understand that some people really do want to help you and that they can be trusted." That kind of overt writing is my favorite thing in the world.

    27. "I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad." a) This is very much a tough-love therapist, and b) Is that sad? Who calls anyone?

    28. It's interesting that Sebastian Stan is into this young woman, because he's an old man. Although I guess his mind was locked away, so maybe not. I don't know where I stand on the weirdness of this.

    29. Also, it's a GAMBLE to go on a date with someone who works at a restaurant you frequent.

    30. Oh my god, Sebastian Stan killed this guy's son, and that's why he's friends with him. That's so sad for so many reasons.

    31. Anthony Mackie just parked in the middle of this harbor market. There are no other cars, so this is clearly not a cool thing to do.

    Anthony Mackie's truck
    Marvel Studios

    32. This is a family drama right now, between Anthony Mackie and his sister. We're getting into financial issues and everything.

    33. Does Sebastian Stan's date know who he is? Is he famous? 'Cause imagine learning about his life. Jesus Christ, that would be overwhelming.

    34. Hahaha, Sebastian Stan is never gonna get drunk; that's great.

    35. Wait, I'm sorry, the rules of this game of battleship are that you drink both when you miss and when your opponent gets a hit? You will be so drunk.

    36. Sebastian Stan just left! He just straight-up walked out of there! I know it was a hard thing she was talking about, but lol.

    37. Oh, he's telling the guy he killed his son! Wowie. Also, of course the son is the guy in the flashback. Of course, me!

    38. Never mind. He's not telling the guy he killed his son.

    39. Anthony Mackie just said, "And then we can renovate the kitchen," but the kitchen is so nice.

    40. This new location is just "Switzerland." No city. No town. "Switzerland."

    41. I'm confused about what this hand app thing is.

    42. Oh my god, I do not need to watch Anthony Mackie's friend get kicked in the face.

    43. Why are there so many pictures of boats on this boat?

    44. Anthony Mackie's friend just texted him "#important!" He texted him a hashtag! That's my favorite part of this episode.

    The text from his friend that reads, "Get to a secure lie, need you to watch something and call me back ASAP hashtag important"
    Marvel Studios

    45. Anthony Mackie was FaceTiming with his friend but only now lifted the screen? Alright.

    46. Oh, I see, so the hand app says if an evil-hand-people event is around. But then, why did Anthony Mackie leave when we first saw the app? And we didn't see an evil-hand-people event. Maybe I still don't get the app.

    47. Who the hell is this new Captain America guy? Am I supposed to recognize him? Am I dumb for thinking he looks kind of like Bo Burnham?

    Alright, that's it for Episode 1! My main takeaway: This doesn't seem like it's my kind of thing — lots of fighting, lots of angled close-ups — but I cannot wait to be proved wrong!

    Thanks for tuning in. See you next week, you filthy animals.