We asked the women of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about a time they experienced subtle sexism, and there were hundreds of infuriating, heartbreaking, equally important responses. Here are 17 of the first ones women experienced outside the office.
1. "Almost always when we dine at a restaurant, the wine list and the check are handed to my boyfriend, even if I'm the one who requested them."
2. "In my country, cars after a certain age have to be officially checked. The guys checking made me feel like an alien for driving my own car to the place. While they instructed the other drivers to do this or that, they would always stick their hands into my car instead of instructing me."
3. "My parents, both people with doctorates, regularly get mail from banks, schools, and energy suppliers addressed to 'Dr. and Mrs. Smith.'
4. "I played on a co-ed soccer team, and a boy asked me, 'Do you even know what offsides is?,' as if I hadn’t also been playing soccer for years and wasn't on the same team as him."
5. "Whenever I get my oil changed, the mechanics assume I know absolutely nothing about cars."
6. "I booked an Airbnb a couple months in advance for my boyfriend and me. I was the one going back and forth with the host over messages. I arrived at the Airbnb a couple minutes prior to my boyfriend, and I was standing there with the host, who wasn't saying anything to me."
7. "I was Snapchatting a guy and I said I was watching Game 1 of the NBA Finals, and he said, 'Why are you watching sports and I’m not?'"
8. "My fiancé and I went to the grocery store and we picked up a pregnancy test. I have irregular periods, so it wasn't so much a pregnancy scare as it was to just make sure. We were checking out and the young male cashier turned to my fiancé and said, 'What are you hoping for?'"
9. "Growing up, my brother could get out of doing the dishes for basically any reason with no consequences. The same did not apply to me."
10. "The court clerk questioned my decision to retain my last name when we picked up our marriage license."
11. "I’m really into motorcycles, but for some reason this seems to baffle guys my age. They just stare at me like, 'You know the specs of a Ducati? No way!'"
12. "My then-boyfriend and I were talking with a male clerk at a video store and the Evil Dead franchise came up. I love that franchise, but my boyfriend had never seen it. The clerk only talked to him about it, and, rather than just admit he didn’t know what he was talking about, my boyfriend went along with it, even when I said he’d never seen the movies but I love them."
13. "One of my school coaches made the boys run, like, four extra laps, while the girls could 'sit down and relax.' I’m not an athletic person at all, but I was pissed."
14. "When buying my first car at 22, I brought my parents to help me look. The salesperson was a middle-aged man, and only addressed my parents (specifically my father) when asking about what we were looking for."
15. "Years ago, I was renting a moving truck with a tow dolly for my car. The employee renting it to me said they would not let me leave until I came back with a man to lock up my car on the tow dolly because a woman didn't have enough muscle to do it herself."
16. "I was playing soccer in a co-ed group. In the camp where we would play, there was a rule that spectators could not enter and watch. I was entering the gate when the guard stopped me..."
17. And "I was asked not to wear white too often, because white should be reserved for my wedding day only."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.