Posted 16 hours ago

27 Times Nick From "New Girl" Was The Gift That Kept On Giving

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."

Hope Lasater

by Hope Lasater

BuzzFeed Staff

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us Nick's best moment on New Girl, and the results were magnificent. Here they are, in all their glory.

1. When Nick danced to his pump up song: "Cotton-Eyed Joe."

In a car, Nick fist bumps and mimes the fiddle in Cotton Eyed Joe, and Jess says, "Why did you need me for this, Nick"

2. When Schmidt's cookie gift made Nick spiral, so he got Schmidt a cookie, too.

Nick says, "You gave me a cookie, I gave you a cookie, you gave me a cookie, gave you cookie, gave me cookie, got you cookie, you gave me cookie, I got you cookie, man, gave me cookie, got you cookie"

3. When Nick was a pretty good cook on Thanksgiving and felt like a new man.

Nick says, "These knives are a part of me, like that, uh, scissorhand guy, what is his name again, is it Rick Snip"

4. When he met Prince and proceeded to just scream and pass out.

While Jess is yelling in excitement, Nick is stone-faced, then he screams, then he passes out

5. When he explained why he likes aging.

Nick says, "I like getting older, I feel like I'm finally aging into my personality"

6. When Schmidt got a fish tank so he could have a fish that reminded him of Cece, but Nick was not on board.

Nick says, "Schmidt, no, absolutely not, no, I don't trust fish, they breathe water, that's crazy"

7. When Nick and Coach tried to ride a tandem bike together, but Coach started without him.

While Coach rides away on the front half of a tandem bike, Nick screams "I'm not on, I'm not on, I'm not on"

8. When he made The Sauce.

Winston asks, "You put bologna in your Bolognese," and Nick says, "Where else would it get its name, trick question, it gets it from the mayonnaise"

9. When Nick climbed onto a ledge so he wouldn't have to kiss Jess.

Nick is on the outside of a window ledge and yells, "Help me, I've made a very bad mistake"

10. When they had to get rid of a "bag of meth" before Winston's police academy home visit, but Nick's inability to lie got in the way.

Nick says, "I can't see it, I can't see where it goes, 'cause then when she comes in here I'll just yell 'trash,' I'll yell 'trash,'" Jess says, "Cover your ears and sing Landslide," and Nick covers his ears and sings, "I took my love and I took it down"

11. And he later confessed everything he'd ever done to the officer coming for the home visit.

Nick says, "When I was 10, I once walked by my mother sleeping, and I snuck in the room and I put a lemon in her mouth"

12. When he showed Jess what he usually sleeps in for the first time: his "long shirt."

Nick wearing a shirt so long it's a dress, says, "It keeps the top really warm and lets my bottom breathe"

13. When he was super drunk and tried to get out of Russell's car.

Nick slowly jumps out of a car head first

14. When Nick pranked Schmidt so Schmidt would think he's become an old man.

Schmidt stands below his height marks on the wall and says, "Look at this, I'm freaking shrinking," Nick whispers, "I took a photo of the wall, shrunk it down, made a copy at an architect's office, from there it was a basic spackle-and-silkscreen job"

15. When Jess wanted to prove she and Nick were just as into each other as Schmidt and her sister, but Nick was not in the mood.

Jess says, "Babe, you have some powdered sugar on your—" Nick says, "Back off, I'm starving," Jess says, "Come on, just let me get it off, it's so much," and Nick says, Get your own French toast, Jess"

16. When Nick tried to push a pull door.

Nick says, "I will push if I wanna push," and then when he can't get the door open he yells, I hate doooors"

17. When he finally tried the foot lotion Schmidt had been giving him all those years and really liked it.

Nick says, ""They should make more foot lotion for your hand, foot lotion hand"

18. When Nick fake flirted with Jess's mom, but then actually became a little into her.

Nick says, "Do I regret it, yes, would I do it again, probably"

19. When Schmidt and Nick discovered they'd been sharing the same towel.

Schmidt says, "Do you even wash it" and Nick says, "No, I don't wash the towel, the towel washes me, who washes a towel"

20. When Nick unpacked why he had never changed in front of Jess.

Nick says, "When you're naked, you're powerful and it's glorious, when you're changing, you're hunched over and cowering, like an animal," and Schmidt says, "Animals don't wear clothes, Nick"

21. When he went to Russell's house for the first time and fell in love with that rich-guy-with-a-fireplace vibe.

Nick says, "Something's happening to me, I want to sit at that desk and veto a law," Jess says, "What are you doing, it's someone else's stuff," and he says, "When I put my hand on this desk, I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life"

22. When he was so anxious he offered grapes in the most concerning way possible.

Nick says, "Would you like a green grape shoved in your—given to your mouth—handed to your mouth"

23. When Jess explained to him what bobby pins are during a fight.

Jess says, "It keeps your hair back," Nick asks, "You need Bobby's pins to put your hair up," and Jess says, "It's bobby pins, not Bobby's pins"

24. When Nick drank absinthe.

Nick says, “You want to know what I'm thinking, I like dogs more than cats, I like chipmunks more than squirrels, I believe in UFOs, I had a bass teacher who did the standing bass who had a weird smell, I still think about it, his name was Mister Hilton"

25. And when he — still drunk on absinthe — gave Dr. Sam the deepest of compliments.

Nick says, "Doctor Sam, if you were a hat, you'd be a top hat, but like a really big Monopoly one, and I say that of the deepest compliments"

26. When Jess and Nick told each other everything Schmidt could use to tear apart their relationship.

Nick says, "I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words"

27. And when we learned about Nick's love for Beyoncé.

Nick says, "I'd trust Beyoncé with my life," flashback to him singing, "Ride it with my surfboard, surfboard, surfboard, bringing on that wood, oh baby, bringing on that wood," and back in the present Nick says, We be all night, we be all night"

Do you have a favorite Nick moment that's not on the list? Let me know in the comments below!

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