Skip To Content

    35 Outlandishly Funny Michael Scott Moments That Aren't "That's What She Said" Jokes

    "I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life."

    1. When Michael mentions a famous Spanish city.

    Jan says, "You know Pam, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight," and Michael says, "When in Rome"

    2. When Michael calls Jim by his full name.

    Michael says, "Well, to be fair, Jim—James—Jimothy," Jim indicates yes for Jimothy, Michael says, "To be fair, Jimothy, the—that sounds weird, are you okay with being called Jim," and Jim says "I am"

    3. When Michael shows his knowledge of food and drink at Phyllis's wedding.

    Michael says, "I know a fair amount about fine food and drink," then he sniffs his white wine and says, "This is a white"

    4. When he drives into a lake because he misunderstands the GPS.

    Dwight yells, "This is the lake," Michael yells, "The machine knows," Dwight yells, "This is the lake," and Michael yells, "Stop yelling at me"

    5. When the Michael Scott Paper Company has the upper hand in a negotiation.

    Michael says, "Well, well, well, how the turntables"

    6. When Jan tells Michael she's pregnant but Michael isn't the father.

    Michael asks, “You cheated on me, when I specifically asked you not to"

    7. When Michael makes Tube City.

    8. When Michael plays Jeopardy! after hitting Meredith with his car in the parking lot.

    Michael says, "Yes, it was on company property, with company property, so, double jeopardy, we are fine," Ryan says, "I don't—I don't think you understand how Jeopardy works," and Michael says, "Oh, right, I'm sorry, what is we're fine"

    9. When he's so over Toby because Toby doesn't want Boy Scouts to come to casino night.

    Michael says, "Why are you the way that you are, honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way, I hate so much about the things that you choose to be"

    10. When Michael quotes Abraham Lincoln in his diversity video.

    Michael says, "Abraham Lincoln once said that 'If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North'"

    11. When he demonstrates the wonder of the plasma screen TV he finally broke down and bought himself.

    Michael says, "Lot of people in the room, you need more space," he pushes the TV inches and says, "Voilà, right into the wall"

    12. "I love this TV."

    Michael says, "Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours, I love it, I love this TV"

    13. When Michael isn't there for the joke, because he fell asleep after eating an entire chicken pot pie for lunch.

    Michael says, "What's so funny," Pam says, "You had to be there," and Michael says, "Okay, geography joke!"

    14. When he sets up an online dating profile.

    Michael says, "Little kid lover, that way people will know exactly where my priorities are at"

    15. When Michael wants to seem like an intimidating figure.

    Michael says, "I will have the spaghetti with a side salad," the serve says, "Okay," and Michael says, "If the salad is on top, I send it back"

    16. When Michael isn't superstitious.

    Michael says, "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious"

    17. When the police arrive because of the noise at the dinner party and Michael tells them that his girlfriend threw a Dundie at his TV, so they ask him if he wants to press charges.

    Michael asks the police Would she get in trouble, the officer says, Yeah, she'd be charged, and Michael says, I will take the fall, I did it

    18. When Michael wants David Wallace to guess who he's dressed up as.

    Michael says, "His last name is Christ, he has the power of flight, he can heal leopards"

    19. When Michael creates a great quote in the Michael Scott Paper Company office.

    On a white board, it says, "'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take —Wayne Gretkzy'  — Michael Scott"

    20. When he feels the office has taken a life after cafe disco.

    Michael says, “You all took a life here today, you did, the life of the party"

    21. When Michael burns his foot on a George Foreman grill.

    Michael says, Before bed I lay bacon on my George Foreman grill, I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep, I wake to the smell of crackling bacon, today, I stepped on the grill and it clamped on my foot, I don't see what's so hard to believe

    22. When Michael refuses to be a villain.

    Andy says, "In any cheating movie, the person getting cheated on is the hero, you're Ali Larter, I'm Beyoncé," and Michael says, "I am Beyoncé always"

    23. When Michael declares bankruptcy.

    Michael yells into the office I declare BANKRUPTCYYYY

    24. When Michael talks about his vasectomies with Jan.

    Michael says, "Snip, snap, snip, snap, snip, snap, you have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person"

    25. When he looks for a new job.

    There are wild groaning noises coming from Michael's office, Jim says, "It's Monster dot com, singular," and Michael says, "Thank you"

    26. When Michael eats fettuccine alfredo right before running a 5K.

    Michael says, Time to carbo load and takes a huge bite of his full fettuccine alfredo meal

    27. When Michael wishes to be both feared and loved.

    Michael says, "Would I rather be feared or loved, um, easy, both, I want people to be afraid of how much they love me"

    28. When he gets gum in his hair so Dwight covers the top of his head with peanut butter.

    Dwight says, Wow, lot of calories, and Michael says, Well, just don't leave it on too long

    29. When he hypothetically kills Toby.

    Michael says, "If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice"

    30. When he calls Jan his second-best trophy.

    Jan says, "It was between the neon beer sign and the Dundies, so I said, honey, keep the trophies," and Michael says, Honey, I have the best trophy right here, aside from my Dundies"

    31. When Michael wants to be in the know about Sabre.

    Michael says, "Where did you get that information," Oscar says, "Manual," and Michael asks "Manuel who"

    32. When Michael speaks of his grit after coming back to Dunder Mifflin.

    Michael says, "I am not to be truffled with"

    33. When Michael becomes Prison Mike.

    Michael says, "The worst thing about prison was the—was the Dementors, they were flying all over the place and they were scary"

    34. When he isn't a bad guy.

    Michael says, "Guess what, I have flaws, what are they, I dunno I sing in the shower, sometimes I spend too much time volunteering, occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car, sue me, no don't sue me, that's the opposite the point I am trying to make"

    35. And finally, when Michael describes his wine.

    Michael says about the wine, "That has sort of an oaky afterbirth," and Jim says, "What was that"

    If you want more of Michael Scott's brilliance, this should keep you satisfied.

    View this video on YouTube

    NBC