Posted on Aug 6, 2022

I Bet That Even If You Haven't Seen "Taskmaster," These 50 Quotes Will Make You Laugh

"My instincts are telling me to squeak like a bat."

by Hope Lasater

BuzzFeed Contributor

Greg Davies says, When is a step not a step, when its on a fucking hurdle

In a dark room where her fact is lit from below, Judi Love asks, Is there a duck on my face

Roisin Conaty says, Guys, Papa dont breach

Mike Wozniak says to a stuffed animal vole, Youve got not chutzpah, uh, your organizational skills are lackluster, your timekeeping is abysmal

Joe Wilkinson says, There is pineapple in my ass, correct

Victoria Coren Mitchell says, Im looking for the greater comfort of longterm financial security

Guz Khan says, There is, uh, imbalance in the poppability of the balloon

Bob Mortimer says, I thought, Fuck it, Ill fill his boat with piss

Katherine Parkinson says, Its a shame my hands arent my feet

Alan Davies asks, 20 seconds to give a man a soul

Sara Pascoe says, It was a gift from me, so technically I own it

Kerry Godliman says, I cant be fucked to plug it in

Mike Wozniak says, My instincts are telling me to squeak like a bat

Sophie Duker says, Ive brought a multi purpose seating device

Daisy May Cooper yells, "ONLY ELEPHANTS AND HIPPOS HAVE THAT KIND OF TAIL"

Asim Chaudhry says, Tall motherfucker with the ivory hair

Joe Thomas says, It stands for, Bicycle, my excellent bicycle

Jessica Knappett says, What happens when you wear long opera gloves and a feather boa to the senior school disco, You do not get fingered

Greg Davies says, Phil Wangs tool sacks, twelve blush majesty two

Lolly Adefope, says, Camouflage, camouflage, camouflage

While watching a block of ice being melted by hot water, Roisin Conaty says, Imagine this is what it was like on the set of Frozen

Greg Davies whispers to Nish Kumar, youre not a bad guy, Nish

Desiree Burch says, I got to keep the deposits because they they were dead

While sitting on the ground in front of the caravan with socks around him, Phil Wang yells, A LIIIIIME

Mike Wozniak says, But what you cant take away from me is that I had an absolutely lovely day

Lou Sanders is inside a bin, and she says, "Will he notice me if I'm a bin," and then she runs

Bob Mortimer singing the lyric, Rosalinds a fucking nightmare

Romesh Ranganathan says, Tree Wizard, Back from the dead to create some balloons

Lolly Adefope says, Friendship is truth, truth is friendship

While she and Alex Horne look at a small toy, Liza Tarbuck says, Hes terse

Bob Mortimer says, Funny you should ask, because I have a little problem which means my, um, anus is too high

While Sophie Duker and Bridget Christie are close to Alex Horne, who is sitting in a hot tub, Judi Love is standing by wearing a cat mask and saying Meow

Sarah Kendall says, I better activate Jamali

While looking at an easel, Mel Giedroyc says, Right, that's an easel

Greg Davies says, It doesn't matter sometimes how ornate the grandfather clock is, the pendulum draws the eye

Doc Brown says, That potato wouldve been all rim and bounced out

Greg Davies says, But the clues were there, Dave, why didnt you stop at two spoons

In front of a drawing of a friend and pictures of snacks, Katherine Ryan holds a toothbrush and a glass of wine and says, Go to the dentist

Asim Chaudhry says, laser beam turtle

Greg Davies says, Youd be able to just run up a tree to the moon

While standing in front of two traffic cones in sand, Judi Love says, Its pyramids

Bob Mortimer asks, Do we strike you

Joe Wilkinson says, Please dont take it away from me

Over the image of blue droplets on a stuffed bunny, Paul Chowdhry says, Bastards crying, innit

Katherine Parkinson says, Am I the spider

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