Posted on Dec 20, 2020

27 Jokes From “Big Mouth” That Are Wildly Genius

"Babies. They're like tuna melts. They sound good, but do you really want one right now?"

Hope Lasater

by Hope Lasater

BuzzFeed Staff

1. When Jay introduced his pitbull, Featuring Ludacris.

Jay says, "He's grumpy, 'cause he has a rare medical condition that makes him aware of his own existence," and Featuring Ludacris looks at himself worried in the mirror

2. When Matthew summed up babies.

Matthew says, "Babies, they're like tuna melts, they sound good, but do you really want one right now"

3. When Jessi got her first period and the Statue of Liberty was somewhat there for her.

Jessi asks, "Is there anything good about being a woman," and the Statue of Liberty says, "Well, if you're very lucky, men will jack off at you on the subway, so, no"

4. When Andrew tried to be romantic but sensible.

Missy reads her texts that say, "Pebbles bouncing off window, don't want to damage glass, I'm outside"

5. When only certain monkey business was allowed in the pool.

Coach Steve says, "No monkey business in the pool, okay, unless of course, you know, you're a monkey and you're doing business," and two monkeys doing a business deal in the pool say, "Well thank you, Steve"

6. When Nick's dad talked about Rosie the Riveter.

Nick's dad says, "Nobody messes with Rosie, she's tough, like spending time with my mother-in-law, that's a man joke"

7. When Missy's parents had drastically different experiences with the TSA.

A TSA agent says to Missy's dad, "You need to take off your jacket," he says "This is a one-piece shirt-vest, I'm not wearing anything underneath," but Missy's mom says, "I accidentally left my small knives in here," and a TSA agent says, "No problem"

8. When Andrew's mom gave him sound advice before a sleepover.

9. When the show prefaced its Planned Parenthood episode.

Coach Steve says, "Do you have some sort of skit that we can watch that would be entertaining and informative but also not too preachy," Nick says, "Ooh, that is a fine line we're trying to walk," and Missy says, "Well, we're gonna do our best"

10. When Missy wanted to maybe borrow some of her mom's clothes.

Missy says to her mom, "Um, mom, do you have any sexy clothes," and her mom says, "I have a corduroy photographer's vest that won't unzip, is that what you mean"

11. When Andrew got a terrible haircut.

Matthew says to Andrew, "You look like a coconut that fell into a camp fire"

12. When Nick wrote a report on Harry Houdini.

Nick says as he types, "So, if you ask me, Harry Houdini was Harry Houdi-neat," then he sits back and says, Okay, nailed the last line, now I just gotta work my way backwards"

13. When Coach Steve walked over some golf balls.

Coach Steve, walking over golf balls, says, "Whoa, there's tiny Epcot Centers on the ground"

14. When Jay made Nick's mom a lunch.

Nick's mom says, "This 'lunch' is loose Corn Flakes, half a dill pickle, and a scrap of paper that says, 'ham burger' on it,' and she holds up the scrap of paper

15. When Nick's dad talked about Brooklyn in 1955.

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16. When Bridgeton Middle School implemented a dress code (for girls only, of course).

Mister Lizer measures Devin's dress and says, "Too short, you'll be wearing the Grimace costume today," so Matthew says, "That's right, folks, the offending girls have to wear the excess wardrobe from the fall play, 'The Ronald McDonalogues"

17. When Missy wanted to catch up with Jessi.

Missy says, "What about you, how much are you I heart-ing New York"

18. When Coach Steve DJ'd for free.

Coach Steve says, "But I do accept tips, like, how do you get people to make eye contact with you"

19. When Devin really liked Jessi's shorts look.

Devin says, "Your booty is banging in those white shorts, you little fox," and Jessi says, "Really, they were my male counsin's"

20. When Jay was sad and sitting on the curb.

Jay is sitting with his elbows on his knees and Coach Steve says to Jay, "Hey Jay, let me guess, you glued your elbows to your knees"

21. When Andrew offered to buy some coffee.

Misha says, "We're not allowed to have coffee, so," and Andrew says, "Oh, well we'll get you a decaf, sweetheart," Misha says, "Okay," and Andrew says, "That means a decaffeinated"

22. When Nick's dad got Jessi's dad a locket.

Nick's dad says, "Well actually, the locket is for Greg, inside is a picture of who he needs to love the most, himself"

23. When Nick saw Andrew and Lola kissing.

Nick says, "This is how I felt when I saw my pediatrician at Lids, I couldn't believe it was happening right in front of me"

24. When Matthew dissed Cantor Dina.

Matthew says, "I bet Dina rolls her own tampons and has super dirty feet"

25. When Andrew thought they were all on drugs because Jay was calm for once.

Andrew says, "That Jay is not a real Jay, that Jay is an imposter, or are we experiencing some sort of shared hallucination," and Caleb says, "If this was a shared hallucination, the animation style would be different"

26. When Matthew and his mom discussed "baking."

Matthew says, "Mom, I'm not going to make a cake with a woman, ever, I don't like the ingredients, I don't understand the utensils, nothing would rise"

27. And when Andrew's dad gave out Halloween "candy."

Andrew's dad stands in front of trick-or-treating kids and says, "Here's an unwearable v-neck undershirt for you, a tiny conditioner from Courtyard by Marriott, and for you, a charger for my old PalmPilot, now scram"

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