As a big fan of both the Oscars hullabaloo and my mother, in that order (I just read that to her and she said, "In THAT order? I spent a week doing this!"), I was very excited when she and I decided to watch all of the 2021 Best Picture nominees and score them.
My mom, Nancy, is a cool mom. She graduated from law school at 23, she speaks French, and she loves the song "S&M" by Rihanna.
I, on the other hand, am 21 years old and just ate a banana with peanut butter at 2:45 a.m.
Now that we've watched them all, I can safely say it was just as much fun as I expected. Here are our Best Picture thoughts and scores.
The Father

Our scores for The Father:

Fake nomination The Father would earn: Most Not What You Assumed It Would Be.
Our scores for Judas and the Black Messiah:

Fake nomination Judas and the Black Messiah would earn: Best Speeches.
Mank

Our scores for Mank:

Fake nomination Mank would earn: Shortest Tie.
Minari

Our scores for Minari:

Fake nomination Minari would earn: Best Acting By a Snake.
Nomadland

Our scores for Nomadland:

Fake nomination Nomadland would earn: Best Use of 10-Gallon Paint Bucket.
Promising Young Woman

Our scores for Promising Young Woman:

Fake nomination Promising Young Woman would earn: Best Opening.
Sound of Metal

Our scores for Sound of Metal:

Fake nomination Sound of Metal would earn: Best Proof Your Mother Was Right ("Don’t play that music so loud").
The Trial of the Chicago 7

Our scores for The Trial of the Chicago 7:

Fake nomination The Trial of the Chicago 7 would earn: Best Use of Headbands on Men.
So here are our rankings and winners for Best Picture:
Nancy:
1. Judas and the Black Messiah: 9.5/10 **WINNER**
2. Sound of Metal: 9/10
3. Minari: 8.5/10
4. The Trial of the Chicago 7: 8/10
5. The Father: 7/10
6. Nomadland: 6/10
7. Promising Young Woman: 3/10
8. Mank: 1.5/10
Hope:
1. Judas and the Black Messiah: 9/10 **WINNER**
2. Sound of Metal: 8.5/10
3. Minari: 8/10
4. Promising Young Woman: 8/10
5. The Trial of the Chicago 7: 8/10
6. The Father: 7.5/10
7. Nomadland: 7/10
8. Mank: 2/10