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    25 Times "Harry Potter" Characters Made Some Very Wrong, Weird, And Dumb Choices

    It's not a good sign if your lair is called the "Chamber of Secrets."

    Harry Potter is a magical series, and I hate myself for that joke. But there are some choices characters make in the books that I absolutely cannot wrap my head around.

    Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

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    Here are 25 wild decisions that Harry Potter characters make in the books.

    1. With zero warning, Dumbledore gives Gryffindor juuuuust enough points to earn the House Cup right at the finish line in Sorcerer's Stone. This is such a biased and mean move, pal.

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    Under normal circumstances, it would be one of the most memorable moments of those students' Hogwarts experiences, but alas, they have a basilisk in a wall, secret child army training, a person living on the back of another person's head, etc.

    2. I understand the Goblet of Fire is meant to have the final and only say over who will compete in the Triwizard Tournament, but come on adults. Harry is 14. FOURTEEN. Surely you can find a way for him to bow out of this one.

    On the show Taskmaster, Alex Horne says, Do you want to look at Lolly, Greg says Yes, Alex says, Okay, the youngest ever competitor in Taskmaster, and Lolly says, Thank you, Im only twelve
    Avalon Television

    3. Also, how come Harry wasn't allowed to go to Hogsmeade without the Dursleys' permission, but he must compete in the Triwizard Tournament because a cup says so? Whoever created these rules made a mistake.

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    4. So many characters are cool with slavery, and many aren't cool with it but don't do anything to stop it. What the fuck?

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    Justice for Winky.

    5. Magical parents are naming their children truly harrowing names. I mean, Bellatrix and Aberforth? Or, even worse, Narcissa? What are you setting that person up for if not a life of reflection-dwelling?

    On New Girl, Winston says, "Everybody meet Dan Bill Bishop"; Jess asks, "Daniel William?" Winston: "No"; Schmidt asks, "Bill the middle name?" Winston: "No"; Aly: "Tell em you're kidding"; Winston: "I'm not, it's Dan Bill Bishop"; and Aly asks, "What?"
    Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

    6. And how dare Harry and Ginny name one of their children Albus Severus. What about, I don't know, Remus??? Or maybe give one of your kids the first name Sirius instead of a mere middle name?

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    Snape does not deserve the adoration he received.

    7. Harry, honey, I don't get why you don't figure out anything that would be helpful for the second task — the lake task — in the Triwizard Tournament. You should be better than this, but Dobby has to give you Gillyweed because you're a dumbass.

    Eleanor says, "We’re an Arizona dirtbag, a human turtleneck, a narcissistic monster, and literally the dumbest person I have ever met," and Jason says, "And who am I, describe me now"
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    8. Snape bullies children because of their parents. OOF.

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    9. Harry never once leaves Great Britain. Dude, no one will look for you in Brisbane. Hide to escape and then stay far away while you figure out a plan.

    On Taskmaster, Lou Sanders is inside a bin, she says, "Will he notice me if I'm a bin?" and then she runs
    Avalon Television

    10. On a similar note, Voldemort leaves all of his Horcruxes kind of nearby. He doesn't bury one in the middle of the Arctic with a flag sticking out of the ice. I mean, I know they're all in meaningful places and all that, but you can't really go full throttle on the "I want to live forever" thing without being thorough.

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    Voldemort is both super calculating and super into meaningfulness.

    11. I cannot believe that in Half-Blood Prince, Ron gets angry at Hermione for dating Victor Krum and it's why he decides to date Lavender Brown. What nonsense.

    On New Girl, Schmidt says, 'm the Bridgette Wilson-Sampras here, Cece says, Who, Reagan says, I dont know, Schmidt says, Oh, I suppose you are both too cool to have seen THE WEDDING PLANNER, and then Winston says, Well, Ive seen it
    Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

    12. Why in god's name do adults give Hermione a time-turner? Don't teach her that infinitely more stress is the right answer. Don't teach her that the normal passage of time is less important than studying. It isn't!!!

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    13. Lockhart knows he is a fraud, so why does he try to fix Harry's broken arm in front of basically the whole school?

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    Yeah, Lockhart is an arrogant monster, but he's smarter than that.

    14. Why did Sirius not escape from Azkaban earlier? He only becomes his dog-self and sneaks out after he learns Peter Pettigrew is still alive.

    On The Office, Michael as Prison Mike says, The worst thing about prison was the, was the Dementors, they were flying all over the place and they were scary
    NBC

    I'm sure this is explained in Prisoner of Azkaban and I've totally forgotten, but let's pretend that's not true.

    15. For some reason, Voldemort's plan to get Harry alone depends on this 14-year-old winning the Triwizard Tournament. Barty Crouch Jr. could have made anything a Portkey. Like, as Moody, Barty Crouch Jr. could have turned a pen into a Portkey and made Harry pick it up in an after-class meeting or something. Boom, got him.

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    Voldemort loves drama.

    16. I understand that Petunia hates Harry due to all of her own shit, but it's still bananas to me. Harry is the only child of her dead sister, and she chooses to hate him. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

    On Brooklyn Nine Nine, Holt says, For a message of hope, everything is garbage, you find something you care about, and it is taken from you, your colleague, your dream job, your mango yogurt, never love anything, that is the lesson, to Captain Dozerman
    Fremulon

    17. Salazar Slytherin creates the Chamber of Secrets, and I think this is such a bold, wild, and bad choice. It's not a good sign if your lair is called the "Chamber of Secrets," and it's the worst sign if said lair is under a school. Reevaluate your goals, Sal.

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    Also, why isn't it called the "Chamber of Snakes"?

    18. Harry gives his Triwizard Tournament earnings to Fred and George, not to the Diggory family. I mean, I get why he does it, but still.

    On The Good Place, Tahani says, "This money has been a weight around my neck, like the Heart of the Ocean necklace my friend James Cameron once gave me"
    Fremulon / NBC

    19. I know the Dementors were not supposed to board the Hogwarts Express and scare/suck the souls of students, but even still, parents should have been warned of their presence. Dumbledore and the other professors really do not give a shit about warning people.

    A child says, A white man broke in today, Schmidt says, A white man, no, well, what did security do about it, the child says, Nothing, and Schmidt yells, Typical
    Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

    20. Harry and Ron taking the flying car to Hogwarts — instead of, you know, waiting for grown-ups — is so, so, so very dumb.

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    Look, I know both Harry and Ron are only 12 at the beginning of Chamber of Secrets, but 12 is old enough to know better — I say with confidence despite the fact that I probably have not interacted with a 12-year-old since I myself was in middle school.

    21. Why does Ollivander act so vaguely creepy?

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    22. People, including Ron, think Harry put his name in the Goblet of Fire because he's fame hungry and whatnot, but he's already super duper famous and doesn't love it, so, no. It is obvious that Harry doesn't need to do flashy stuff to get attention.

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    23. To be safe, why doesn't Dumbledore just teach Defence Against the Dark Arts after, like, the third teacher only lasts one year?

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    24. While Tom Riddle is basically possessing Ginny, she writes in blood about the Chamber of Secrets being open. But she writes, "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir, beware." Voldemort, why is it necessary to spend valuable seconds adding those periods and capitalizing those letters? Rush!

    On The Office, Stanley asks, "How did Ryan use it, as an object?" Ryan says, "As an object" and Kelly says, "Ryan used me as an object"
    NBC

    25. And finally, all of the Hogwarts adults need to think long and hard about their continuing decision to sort children into houses when they're only 11. ELEVEN.

    Jess says, I might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia because you make children cry
    Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

    If a Harry Potter character made you mad and the reason why isn't included on this list, tell me about it in the comments below!