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How To Become A Famous Celebrity

Fame is a sultry mistress, and for those of you who want her… we have the steps it takes to have her.

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Here are a few more steps you can take on ‘How to become Famous’ if the above did not work out:

-Realize that whatever talent you might have is basically worthless*

-Wear extra lip gloss and no panties when meeting with a casting agent

-Start by testing the ‘reality show’ waters – anything that would highlight the hilarious downsides of your life and/or family ironically for million of viewers to watch and feel better about themselves – also, allow them to judge you and your life profusely

-Publicly claim “you’re fine” just before you go on a complete public breakdown which could result in an arrest, drastic hair cut change, or both

-If you have a kid, exploit them to the MAX to help spread your own popularity and give them a random NOUN for a first name (Jacket, Apple, Blanket, Tube-Sock, Face, etc)

-Sexually abuse your masseuse(s)

-Skip out on a 5 digit hotel bill

-You’ll need a “fabulous” gay BFF

-Sit court-side at as many Laker games as you can

-Desperately Get Joan Rivers to insult what you look like

-“Accidentally” flash your genitals while getting out of a car (if no paparazzo are around, just “accidentally” tweet a nude pic)

-Go out clubbing and don’t show up on set the next day due to “exhaustion”

-Never pay less than $8.50 for a bottle of water

*might as well do away with your dignity while youre at it

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