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Life Sucks, Move On

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

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Life Sucks, Move on

You know that feeling where you have crashed and undoubtedly burned? That significant event which made you feel as though you would never be the person you were before? The feeling that you thought could possibly be the be all or end all, be it heartbreak, anger, or even sheer disappointment. It's shit, right?

Trust me I know. When all you want to do is absolutely rip the person to pieces for all the hardship you've gone through, or wanted to completely erase the memory of the day everything went wrong. I know it's a really hard time and it takes a lot to move on from it, but there's a point when you have a choice. At a certain point, the time will come when you need to make a decision of whether to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, or to carry on feeling how you do right now. I'm going to tell you a little bit more of why you should always choose the prior rather than the latter.

1. Forgiveness

As hard as it can be, this is one of the most important reasons of why you need to dust off your hardship. If you keep hold of your grudge against someone, constantly slandering them or wishing them ill, you are not hurting them, instead you are hurting yourself. Truth is, the person you have these hard feelings for has probably moved on, and when you are the only one that cares, you are the only one that hurts. You need to forgive them, and most importantly forgive yourself. Whether it was because you let someone in and they in turn let you down, or they turned out to be a person you didn't think they could be; you need to let it go. All this effort you put into holding a grudge could be used for more valuable things, like churning them into positive energies for the relationships you have to flourish into something even more beautiful.

2. Be a better "you"

Oh I know, how cliche!! I don't mean this in a "go find yourself" kind of way. I mean to grow as a person. You are, whether you like it or not, not the person you were before it happened. Things change and you have changed to. Again you have a choice, you can let it make you stronger, or you can let it destroy you. I mean, just think about it, you go through a breakup. Yes you love him/her, they were Mr Darcy, they were so good to you. Time to change the record. This person, for whatever reason, is out your life. At first it's hard, but when the time comes you will feel so independent and so strong that you will literally feel like a brand new person.

(Trust me, when my ex and I broke up, at the time I thought I would never get over it. I gave myself time and moved on from him, and found out that not all guys are bad. Then, I used the money I would have spent on him for Christmas etc, on a trip to Barcelona with my best friend and a complete revamp of my wardrobe/makeup box. Not only this but my self-confidence is so much better after I learnt that I wasn't actually a shit person, and I was settling. So I think I win)

3. Live your life

Go find something which makes you happy. Not someone, someTHING. You can't rely on other people to make up your life. People come and go whenever they please, but when you find something you genuinely love and enjoy, that will be your safe haven. That will be your special thing and make life worthwhile. Spend time with your friends and family and put your phone down for a bit. If social media makes you happy, then it's not really what I was going for, but you go post that selfie you fine piece of ass (more highlight, less shadow, pop a colour on it, why not!). Life isn't meant to be wasted feeling sorry for the things that are in the past. Try living by the "will it matter in 5-years-rule" - Framing every disaster by that rule, and look at things you thought would matter in 5 years but haven't thought about in 3 years. Life is too short to cling onto temporary feelings.

4. You'll lose weight

Not literal weight, but emotional weight. It's like holding onto a pint of water (or beer, whatever you prefer, I'm not here to judge), for a while it won't feel heavy but the longer you hold the pint up, the heavier it will become. This is exactly what it is like when you are holding onto negative feelings, the longer you don't face up to it, the heavier it will be. I promise you, when you actively find your closure, you will find a massive weight lifted off your shoulder. Sometimes, you can quite literally feel yourself letting go. For example, when I was in Barcelona, we met some really great Americans in a club, all be it I had a bit to drink, but we went on the beach outside and yes it was freezing but the people I was with and the cold water in between my aching feet made me just release this long exhale, and I just felt so at peace. And that was it, at that point, I knew I had let go.

One day, you too will find your peace with your emotional weight, and you will feel a lot lighter for it. But do not rush it. You will let go when you are ready.

Anyway... I hope one day you will choose to pick yourself up and dust it off. At the end of the day, it's not what has happened to you that matters, it's what these experiences teach you and how you decide to grow from them. Always better yourself from hardships - after all, for every closed door, another one opens.

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