How To Toothpaste: A PSA

Taking toothpaste out of the tube is an existential journey.

1. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT PSA ABOUT HOW TO TOOTHPASTE OKAY? DON’T ASK ANY QUESTIONS.

2. Step 1: Flatten the tube against a surface to get the most from your toothpaste.

3. Step 2: As you’re squeezing all that toothpaste out of the tube, take some time to reflect.

4. Life is beautiful. But, also meaningless.

5. And because of this fundamental meaninglessness, you should squeeze how you wanna. Live how you wanna.

“Life is fundamentally meaningless so the things that are important to you have as legitimate a claim to meaning as anything else.”

6. Step 3: Make Rorschach art with the toothpaste.

7. Step 4: “Open [yourself] wide as if there were any hope of escaping this transient meat bag and its neurotic fear”

8. Step 5: The End. Forever.

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