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18 Incredible Moments Throughout Bloop History

All clapbacks are bloops but not all bloops are clapbacks. I say it's time bloops get their moment to shine.

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Bravo / Via buzzfeed.com

Happy Bloop History Month, everyone! What is Bloop History Month, you ask, beautiful reader? Well, it's a celebration of bloops - those onomatopoetic moments when you witness or read a response so sharp, all you can utter is "bloop". Much like it's rhetorical counterpart, the clapback, the bloop often takes the form of a viciously accute comeback. But it is not necessarily always the case. In fact, a bloop can arise simply from a really well articulated observation or a casual aside in conversation. Basically, all clapbacks are bloops but not all bloops are clapbacks. Got it?

Isn't Bloop History Month just a random holiday you made up, you ask? To which I can only respond, yes, my beloved reader, you are correct. But aren't they all???

I say it's time we celebrate the figures, large and small, who have bequeathed great bloops upon our nation. A bloop can come from the pontification of historical figures like W.E.B Dubois or the internet ephemera of some rando on Tumblr and I say it's time we remember, not all heroes wear capes.

Now follow me as we frolic through some historic and contemporary examples throughout bloop history:

1. This incredible, historical bloop from Frederick Douglass in response to people's complaints about his criticism of religion (1817):

"What I have said respecting and against religion, I mean strictly to apply to the slaveholding religion of this land, and with no possible reference to Christianity proper; for, between the Christianity of this land, and the Christianity of Christ, I recognize the widest possible difference—so wide, that to receive the one as good, pure, and holy, is of necessity to reject the other as bad, corrupt, and wicked. To be the friend of the one, is of necessity to be the enemy of the other. I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land. Indeed, I can see no reason, but the most deceitful one, for calling the religion of this land Christianity."
Kean Collection / Getty Images

"What I have said respecting and against religion, I mean strictly to apply to the slaveholding religion of this land, and with no possible reference to Christianity proper; for, between the Christianity of this land, and the Christianity of Christ, I recognize the widest possible difference—so wide, that to receive the one as good, pure, and holy, is of necessity to reject the other as bad, corrupt, and wicked. To be the friend of the one, is of necessity to be the enemy of the other. I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land. Indeed, I can see no reason, but the most deceitful one, for calling the religion of this land Christianity."

2. That time W.E.B. DuBois did the Heisman on 'em (1895):

"The honor, I assure you, was Harvard's." –W.E.B. Du Bois, upon being congratulated for being the first African American to earn a PhD from Harvard.
Hulton Archive / C M Battey / Getty Images

"The honor, I assure you, was Harvard's." –W.E.B. Du Bois, upon being congratulated for being the first African American to earn a PhD from Harvard.

3. This life-affirming bloop from Zora Neale Hurston’s essay “How It Feels To Be Colored Me” (1928):

"Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me."
Fotosearch / Getty Images

"Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me."

4. This searing author-on-author bloop from James Baldwin (1959):

"Every time I read Langston Hughes I am amazed all over again by his genuine gifts – and depressed that he has done so little with them."
RALPH GATTI/AFP / Getty Images

"Every time I read Langston Hughes I am amazed all over again by his genuine gifts – and depressed that he has done so little with them."

5. Malcolm X's famous Plymouth Rock bloop (1964):

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

6. This real exchange between Nancy Reagan and Miles Davis (1987):

7. This historic bloop from Jackie Robinson's autobiography (1995):

"Money is America's God, and business people can dig black power if it coincides with green power, so these fans were important to the success of Mr. Rickey's 'Noble Experiment' ... They hadn't changed because they liked me any better; they had changed because I could help fill their wallets."
Harper Collins

"Money is America's God, and business people can dig black power if it coincides with green power, so these fans were important to the success of Mr. Rickey's 'Noble Experiment' ... They hadn't changed because they liked me any better; they had changed because I could help fill their wallets."

8. This wig-snatching Mariah Carey bloop (1995):

9. This bloop heard around the nation (2005):

10. This sermon from Omarosa (2013):

11. That time Rihanna (aka the Queen of Bloops) shut down this red carpet interview (2014):

(Basically everything Rihanna says should go down in bloop history.)

@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this

12. This glorious bloop from Gabourey Sidibe (2014):

To people making mean comments about my GG pics, I mos def cried about it on that private jet on my way to my dream job last night. #JK

13. The many, many bloops of Shonda Rhimes, Tha Gawd (2014):

. @Dabdelhakiem If u use the phrase "gay scenes", u are not only LATE to the party but also NOT INVITED to the party. Bye Felicia. #oneLOVE

14. This presidential bloop (2015):

vine.co

15. This glorious Tumblr bloop (2015):

16. That time Zendaya clapped back so exquisitely Fashion Police was put on hiatus (2015):

17. The many bloops Cookie gives us on Empire (2015):

Fox

18. And a special honorable mention to this dog squad:

Be warned: Animals are learning the way of the bloop, too! Stay woke.

What are your favorite moments in bloop history? Add them below!

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