How To Write A Great Fashion Trend Piece
Remember, kids, it's not a trend until it happens to white people.
1. Find the worst puns. Use them everywhere. Got a dated cultural reference? Throw that in there. A good way to measure your wordplay success is if your reader is already cringing from your headline.
2. Assume that the world looks exactly like your tiny bubble. Perhaps even right down to a specific street. Be comfy with people knowing how non-diverse your life/worldview is.
4. Use coded language. "Urban" means brown. "Edgy" signifies difference. Pretty words like "elegant" refer to certain people or things. And "people" refers to people who look like the author (read: probably white).
5. Feel free to make up your own history. What is a history but a convenient way to make your argument?
8. Ignore the fact that you might have readers of color. Slip in an "us" or "we" every now and then to gently remind readers of this fact.
9. LIE. Just make stuff up. String words together and call it a sentence. Notice two people doing a thing? Call it a trend. Use the word "ubiquitous" without any work to prove said ubiquitousness.
12. Make it clear that you are of a certain class. Attach a ridiculous dollar amount to your new "trend" to set it apart from the commoners. Have a high-priced stylist tell you it costs $500 a month to maintain a hi-top fade and never second-guess it.