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25 Things Anglophiles Should Really Know About Britain

It's not all Hogwarts castles and 'cute accents' you know.

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1. We might be a tiny, cute little island, but we're also ridiculously congested.

BBC / Via cliffpantones.tumblr.com

There are clearly far too many of us. That much is obvious any time you try to get onto a multi-storey car park on a Saturday.

2. Most of our small towns are shit and everyone wants to get out of them.

Fox / Via gordonramsayangry.tumblr.com

They have a Greggs, a leisure centre and a few local drunks. Tourists never see this pebble-dashed side of Britain.

3. A lot of British schools are 1960s-built prisons stuffed full of asbestos.


If you want to go to school in a place that looks even a little bit like Hogwarts you need a lot of money. The rest of us end up here.

4. Our newspapers are either aggressively left or painfully right and everything-phobic. There is no in between.


Would you like a side of balance and moderation with your breakfast? Well, you can't have it.

6. Every town and city centre is like an unsupervised zoo on Saturday nights.

MTV / Via geordie-shore.tumblr.com

You've not known hell until you've stood in a taxi queue that has its own bouncer at 4am in the middle of November.

9. The way our country's run is kind of ridiculous.


An MP is 'held hostage', the cellars of Parliament are searched for gun powder that isn't there, the Queen makes a speech, and because of something Charles I did once we now pretend to not let some guy into Parliament for purely ceremonial reasons. This happens every year at the opening of the Houses of Parliament for no real reason whatsoever.

11. Our ability to create pointless celebrities is second only to the US.

ITV / Via melgotserved.tumblr.com

We like exactly the same reality crap, there's nothing particularly high-brow about the majority of British TV. Sherlock blah blah Downton Abbey blah quality programming blah. YES, I know, but change channel to ITV2 and you get an entirely different experience.

23. We spread the world's greatest meal, afternoon tea, around the world.


Colonialism should really have just been about bringing scones and Earl Grey to other nations. They should have stopped there.

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