1. Exercise is always a waste of time.
2. Fashion is very, very important.
3. Fashion can sometimes be woefully impractical though, and it is in those circumstances that you need to take matters into your own hands.
4. You never need a "good reason" to get blind drunk.
5. Sometimes people need to be brought down to size.
6. Other people's disapproval should be fuel to your fire.
7. And speaking of fire, you can just go ahead and light your fag on anything. No one will mind.
8. As long as you blindly believe in your own self-worth, EVERYTHING will be fine.
9. Vodka. 'Tis a blessed thing.
10. But beware its powers, for they are mighty.
11. Be ambitious in all that you do.
12. But it's more important to know when to relax, and to take it hugely seriously.
13. We all make a tit of ourselves sometimes.
14. Even the best of us have the odd memory lapse.
15. There simply must be champagne.
16. The tyranny of exercise CANNOT be stressed enough.
17. But that doesn't you can't THINK about MAYBE going on a diet.
18. Abandoning the idea within 30 seconds doesn't make you a bad person at all though.
19. Live fast, recover tomorrow, regret nothing.
20. And most importantly, best friends are forever. Even when said friend is a drunken, irresponsible cow.
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