1. Please don’t let my kids be “those kids” on the plane.
2. Why did I stuff my carry-on with toys and books when all my baby wants are the pamphlets in the back of the seat?
3. Why doesn't the lap pass for babies come with a drink voucher?
4. Do I need to pack an entire suitcase solely devoted to snacks?
5. So. Much. Yelling.
6. Will I ever have any alone time?
7. But life would be SO boring without them.
8. What are they doing in the bathroom?
9. How could that possibly take so long?
10. Will they notice if I disappear for a few hours?
11. Or a few days? JK, JK. I'd miss them way too much.
12. Where would I be right now if I didn’t have kids?
13. What is that smell?
14. When was the last time I showered?
15. When was the last time my kids showered?
16. Dipping the kids in the pool or the ocean = bathtime, right?
17. What do baths feel like? I can’t remember.
18. Please stop climbing on me.
19. Please, please be quiet. Everyone's staring at me, not you.
20. Did I raise these animals?
21. But they're THE MOST ADORABLE animals.
22. WHO AM I? And do I have a name that’s not “Mom”?
23. "Are we there yet?" Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing.
24. How can we time these naps perfectly?
25. But they're so cute when they're sleeping.
26. Will we have enough room for everyone to sleep?
27. Is...4pm too early to put them to bed?
28. WHY didn't we bring Grandma on this trip to babysit?!
29. How many more days until they turn 18?
30. But they can still totally live with me when they're adults, of course.
31. Why is this "vacation" more work than actual work?
32. Did I bring enough snacks? #StressEating
33. This kid has no interest in history or culture.
34. How can my kid have no interest in history or culture?!
35. Why even go sightseeing when I can just take the kids to the pool?
36. Another pool day will be healthy for them...
37. I'm not actually sleeping – I'm just resting my everything. I'm not lying!
38. Am I taking enough pictures?
39. Am I taking too many pictures to actually enjoy this trip?
40. Who cares about pics? I care about peace and quiet. Maybe one more selfie.
41. In a few years, I'll forget what this vacation was actually like until I'm clearing out my hard drive and I'll think, Wow, what a great trip .
42. How can they be so cute and so awful at the same time?
43. BUT MOSTLY CUTE. XOXOXOXOXO. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
44. If they don’t stop fighting, we’re just going to have to pick one and leave the other one at the hotel. KIDDING, obvs.
45. How does my child perfectly time having to go to the bathroom with situations where there is absolutely 0% chance to use the bathroom?
46. Let’s use the bathroom right now and then again in five minutes — just to be safe.
47. That pee-pee dance is the cutest though. <3