1. She thinks you should open your eyes and see what the world has to offer.
2. She wants you to know that if you don’t hurry up, you’re going to make us all late.
3. She thinks it’s truly pathetic that you blew your last paycheck at a bachelor party in Vegas.
4. She feels your apartment in the city is really too small. Look at all this space you could have if you moved to the suburbs!
5. She thinks it’s unacceptable that you missed your curfew and that you’re officially grounded.
6. She wants you to know that you can keep talking about your idea for “the next Facebook” but she’s not going to listen.
7. She suggests you might want to rearrange the furniture. The couch would really look better pushed up against the wall.
8. She thinks you should stop worrying so much and have a drink.
9. She didn’t think joke wasn’t funny the first five times you made it and thinks that you should probably stop.
10. She thinks your new haircut looks great! And she thinks you ought to remember that!
11. She thinks it was real swell that you liked her most recent Facebook photo.
12. She would like to tell you that this meeting has been going on forever and that you need to call an end to it ASAP.
13. She wants you to know she will listen to what you have to say in one second, but first she needs to reply to this Tweet.
14. She feels it’s a real shame you don’t talk to your brother.
15. She thinks you probably shouldn’t have told her that secret. Too late!
16. She cannot believe that you went there.
17. She thinks you should come visit more often. It’s been six months, you know?
18. She believes you should show your mother just an ounce of respect, okay?
19. She thinks you should NOT GO INTO THAT ROOM!!
20. She thinks it’s not a huge deal, but that you probably should have worn a different purse.
21. She wants you to know you really have no excuse for the fact that you forgot to call your grandmother on her birthday.
22. She thinks you should shut your mouth before you accidentally tell someone where the secret hiding place is.
23. She thinks your presentation was fine, but that it would have been better if you’d stayed late to work on it like that other guy.
24. She thinks that off-color joke you just made was too soon.
25. She feels — if she heard you right — that quitting your job and driving cross country is a bad idea.
26. She wants to tell you that you only live once and that drinks are on her tonight!
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