2. And Abby would trick some intern into giving her access to a trove of documents.
5. Oh, Jake probably would have been the guy who pulled the phone records for the DOJ.
7. And David Rosen would have been pursuing the IRS scandal for a year. But due to an unreasonable amount of bad luck and red tape, he would have gotten nowhere.
12. The White House would quickly break down and text Olivia.
The conversation would go something like:
The White House: I don’t know what to tell them…
Olivia: Tell them the truth! Tell them a lie! It doesn’t matter. Tell them something. It’s time to SHUT. THIS. DOWN.
14. SHUT IT DOWN.
16. Olivia would be booking the president and other top officials for softball TV interviews.
18. James would be one of the few White House reporters left out of a Benghazi briefing.
19. And he’d be very sad about it!
20. Until learning it was Cyrus’ idea to exclude him.
21. But then Cyrus would feel terrible.
23. This would basically be Cyrus right now.
- Barack Obama became the first sitting U.S. president to visit the site of the atomic bombing in Hiroshima, Japan. The "memory of August 6, 1945 must never fade."
- A Silicon Valley college faked grades, dodged immigration authorities, and made a fortune, BuzzFeed News has found 💰🎓
- And do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz 💯