Skip To Content

    The 22 Most Middle-Class Things That Have Ever Happened In Scotland

    “Do you know what this salt needs? More kale.” – No one, ever.

    1. This shameful offer from a Glasgow kebab shop.

    Twitter: @MattandCat

    Focaccia right off, pal.

    2. This over-the-top kids' entertainment in Edinburgh.

    en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons / Twitter: @kerrisduffy / BuzzFeed

    What's wrong with The Singing Kettle?

    3. This haggis "pop-up".

    4. This comment overheard in a Glasgow branch of Waitrose.

    rightmove.co.uk / Facebook: overheardinwaitrose / BuzzFeed

    CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES!

    5. And this one, overheard in an Edinburgh branch.

    panoramio.com / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed / Facebook: overheardinwaitrose

    "Little man." WTF?

    6. These "kids' favourites."

    Twitter: @KatieBuchanan

    "No, Catriona, you can't have any crudites until you finish your Merguez sausage. Don't make me tell nanny."

    7. This "beer brew kale salt", for sale in Edinburgh.

    Twitter: @glynhudson

    "Do you know what this salt needs? More kale." – No one, ever.

    8. And this peat-smoked Hebridean sea salt spotted in a Scottish branch of Waitrose.

    Twitter: @hebseasalt

    Because if it isn't smoked with peat and harvested from the shores of the remote Scottish Hebridean Isle of Lewis, is it even salt?

    9. This Pinot Grigio-related outrage.

    Twitter: @timabrahams

    Remember the Pinot Grigio wars of 2015? 12 people were mildly offended and someone dropped their copy of The Guardian in a puddle.

    10. This deconstructed cheesecake from a Glasgow gastropub.

    Twitter: @Mawheid

    "I'll have a jar of cream and some crumbs on a slate, please!" "Coming right up."

    11. This overpriced nonsense.

    Twitter: @AFraserAllen

    Mixing Irn-Bru with champagne is such a waste of Irn-Bru.

    12. This utter travesty.

    Twitter: @mickmcavoy

    It's not even a decent-sized portion FFS.

    13. This "artesian water" from Fiji.

    Twitter: @fifealex

    Because as we all know, Scotland doesn't have any clean, fresh mineral water, good-quality tap water, or springs at all. Thank goodness for Fiji!!!!!!

    14. This sign in a Scottish branch of Waterstones.

    Twitter: @StevFBrown

    Who would even do such a thing?

    15. And this exceedingly restrained crime in Bearsden.

    Twitter: @SlowSlownews

    It was probably a £50 note that he didn't need anymore.

    16. This affront to Rabbie Burns.

    Twitter: @Becca_PR

    You don't put gin in haggis, and you certainly don't combine it with a lamb whatsit or panko bollocks either. For shame.

    17. Not to mention this utter abomination.

    Twitter: @JMould87

    The roof slate isn't even the worst thing: Who the fuck serves salad with haggis, neeps, and tatties?

    18. This hot coffee, served in a motherflipping glass.

    Twitter: @VivGroskop

    Because everyone loves having severely burned fingers.

    19. And this coffee served in a bloody shopping trolley.

    Twitter: @WeWantPlates

    "Yeah I'll just wheel this right into my mouth, cheers Tarquin."

    20. This unashamedly pretentious bike ride.

    Twitter: @colingilchrist

    There's even a guy with fucking red trousers in the background. Argh.

    21. This unicycling commuter.

    Twitter: @ailsamg

    Bet he could totally afford a two-wheeled one.

    22. And, of course, this "crochet protest" in Edinburgh.

    Twitter: @Cmacf76

    "What do we want?" "TRAMS!"

    "When do we want them?" *CROTCHETS A RESPONSE FRANTICALLY*

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form